perhaps you’re bi?”
I took a mouthful of coffee. “I don’t think so. I mean, last night we were fooling around and I couldn’t make myself touch her… you know. I didn’t know what to do or think. She turns me on, and I love talking to her, but if I can’t touch her sexually, then what does that mean?”
“Have you had your head scanned lately for brain tumors?” he asked in all seriousness.
I flipped him the bird. “C’mon, Jake. What should I do?”
“Do you have to do anything?”
“What do you mean?”
Jake drummed his fingers on the tabletop. “I mean that Patrick’s trying to teach me how to not say the first thing in my head, so this is really hard, Davo. Patrick will kill me if he hears me say something like this, but it’s not like you’re going to date her or anything, is it? You haven’t been on a date in years. You’re the fuck ’em and leave ’em type.”
A muted roar came from the bedroom. “Jacob Manning. I heard that. What did we say about language around our daughter?”
Jake jumped and turned toward the hallway. “Ears like a fuckin’ bat,” he muttered. He stretched his neck and peered into the bassinette. “She’s not even awake.”
Patrick’s voice filtered through. “I don’t care if she’s awake or not. You don’t say the f-word around her anymore. We need to practice restraint so that her first word won’t be ‘fuck.’”
Jake smiled and called back. “You just said ‘fuck.’”
“So did you.” Patrick’s voice was muffled by several walls, but he obviously could hear our conversation.
I laughed as Jake mouthed the forbidden word over and over, then winked at me. He called back, “You need coffee, Patti-cake?”
“Fuck, yes” was the groan in reply, and I laughed.
Jake got up, poured another coffee, and took it in, leaving me alone with the sleeping baby.
I ruminated over Jake’s comment. It was true I was the fuck ’em and leave ’em type, but only because I wasn’t ready for a relationship. These days, with gay marriage being bandied around, it seemed that every second gay guy wanted to settle down in domestic bliss.
I wasn’t against living together with someone I really liked, and I could see the advantage of it. I would have available sex, companionship, and someone to kick back with. I would no longer need to trawl the clubs and pubs for sex. I would have familiarity and acceptance, so I wouldn’t have to look my best every single time I stepped out of the house in case an opportunity to fuck came up.
But at the same time, I could also envision heated discussions over whose turn it was to empty the rubbish bin and whether the carpet needed vacuuming. Visits to the in-laws. Anniversaries and birthdays to remember. Fights over bills and money.
I didn’t need that sort of crap in my life.
But, I reminded myself, calling Lee and perhaps setting up a date was a long way from living together. What did I have to lose?
In truth, despite her being a woman and me being gay, Lee actually gave me a better orgasm than I’d had in a long time. Perhaps I was straight, after all? There was only one way to find out.
A little squawk came from the direction of bassinette, and I stood to check the baby. She was awake again, turning her head back and forth, rubbing her cheek against the blanket she was wrapped in.
“Well, hello, sweet pea,” I crooned softly to her. “I can see why your daddy’s tired. That was a tiny catnap if ever there was one. What are you doing awake again?”
She turned, looking for the voice and opening her mouth in a way that reminded me of a goldfish blowing bubbles.
“What do you think I should do, Maxine?” I asked her. I had come to Jake’s house for advice, so I might as well poll the population. “Should I ask Lee on a date? Or should we meet up for drinks and take the pressure off?”
Maxine gave a little cry, and I panicked a bit. Where was Jake?
“Jake? Jake. Your baby’s awake.”
There was
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