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If you dare to get any girl pregnant before you’re eighteen, I’m gonna wallop you so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week ?” He placed his own plate on the table and sat next to me. “I remember laughing in her face, because I was the one who used to put condoms in my mum’s handbag each night, so she had one. The last thing we needed was another baby in the house.”
    I choked on my coffee. “I think I had a bit more of a conventional upbringing than you, Jake. I was fifteen before my dad had the sex talk with me, and I never once gave a thought to whether my parents were practicing safe sex.”
    Jake shrugged and laughed. “Oh, well. Each to his own I guess. But when Mum had her rare show of parental concern, I remember saying to her, ‘Don’t worry, Ma. I don’t like girls like that.’ Then she said, ‘Oh? You’re gay? Well, thank fuckin’ goodness. I don’t have to worry about grandchildren until Ellie gets her period.’ I remember thinking it sounded nice to be gay—not having to worry about kids. So I just always was. Gay, I mean. I never had to worry about what my parents would think, or anything.”
    “So you’ve never been with a girl?”
    “Nope. Why? Have you?”
    I wrinkled my nose and cut another slice of pancake. “Not really. Only a couple of BJs. But there’s this girl I met and… well, I think I like her, Jake.”
    Jake stopped. “Like her as in I’d like to fuck her like her?”
    That was my Jake—called a spade a spade.
    I swallowed with difficulty around my mouthful of food. “Yes.”
    “Why?” Jake sounded perplexed. I didn’t bother to hide my confusion either.
    “I know. That’s why I don’t understand it.”
    “Does she have great tits or something?”
    I laughed. “I don’t even remember. See, that’s the confusing bit. We were making out last night in my van—”
    “Whoa. You made out with a chick?”
    I ignored him. “And in the dark I couldn’t even remember what her breasts were like. I didn’t notice them in the pub.”
    “What did you notice about her, then?”
    I placed my cutlery on the table as I felt a smile of happiness steal across my face. “Her hair. It’s bright red, but dark. You know—like a cherry? Not orangey. And she has these sweet little lips that are all pouty. And her skin is clear and her eyes are bright and we can talk for ages—”
    “Whoa.” This time his exclamation was louder, and I stopped.
    “What?”
    “You do like her. You had her in your van?”
    I blushed. Men shouldn’t really talk about ladies in this manner, but this was Jake. “Yeah. BJ.”
    “What’s her name?”
    “Lee Brennan.”
    “What’s the name of the last guy who sucked you off before last night?”
    I blushed harder. “Well, that was actually Lee as well. Last Saturday.”
    Jake gave me a considering look. “And the time before that?”
    “Just some guy at Connections when I went there with some people.”
    “And the time before that?”
    I struggled to recall, but could only vaguely picture the man. “An older guy who was at the café I went to after work. I don’t know his name.”
    “And the time before that?”
    I screwed up my face and tried to remember who was before that. “The big, blond guy at The Tav. He’s a regular. You know him? Umm… snake tattoo on his neck, wears those bright red boots?”
    I’m sure Jake knew his name because Jake’s like that, but he didn’t answer my question. He stared at me in shock. “Do you mean to tell me, you can’t remember the first names of the three guys before Lee, yet you can remember her first and last name?”
    My mouth turned down in humiliation. “Yes. Shit, Jake. Am I straight?”
    Being straight was the ultimate horror. What would people say about me? Would I be shunned? What would Dad say?
    “I really don’t know, Davo,” Jake said, still looking surprised. “I’ve seen the amount of guys you’ve been with. There’s no way in the world you’re straight. But