Read Xtreme Manly Man Force of Intense Badassery: Book One: The Fountain of Testoserone for Free Online Page A

guy's
ramblings.
    “Shut up!”
    “Idiot.”
    “Enough from ya’!” several voices chime
in to silence the shirtless man. The man laughs as if this was all
just a joke, and then intensifies his gaze.
    “IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT, JUST
TRY TO SILENCE ME! WE'LL SEE WHO DESERVES TO TALK!” The man
challenges to the group as he walks near UDGD and his comrades in a
manner as if they've known each-other for a long time. The twenty
seven men grin and agree with various cheers and sneers.

    ENGAGE!

    The front-most barbarian, a young lad,
leaps forward and swings downward with his axe. In the blink of an
eye the boy is lacerated and disarmed with Xtreme efficiency by
IMRM, chopped through the skull by UDGD, and impaled with
hysterical strength by the mysterious man without armor. Blood
spurts profusely as all three pull their weapons out, looking up to
the enraged group of barbarians.
    The first group of men race forward,
letting down their weapons with manly speed. IMRM disables the
weight of their strikes with several thrusts with the blade of his
scythe, and plows through pair after pair of hands.
    UDGD and Stranger (as will be the
shirtless man's title until further notice), retaliate with skilled
strikes to the bodies of their foes. Mortal crimson sprays about
wildly as wave after wave of men come at them, each being met with
an incredibly quick and manly death.
    The orc, watching the display, thinks
it looks awfully a lot like a bunch of barbarians running into a
giant lawnmower of Xtreme death and destruction.
    UDGD is deeply impressed with Stranger.
He fights with such brutality and even more risky force than he
does- as if he were a comparable man. As Mr. Honkers fiddles around
with his little device trying to make it work, the three slay the
crowd until only two more warriors remain. The moment IMRM tears
the weaponry from their hands with his scythe, UDGD dashes up, lops
off the meaty arm of one of the warriors, and smashes him in the
face with his own disembodied arm. The other warrior draws back to
run away, but not before Stranger drives his enormous blade through
the man's chest, turning it, churning the organs into a blend, and
then tearing it out with jagged, incredibly messy results as the
man's blood splatters about like a hydrant. Honkers shrugs, and
puts away the device..
    VICTORY!
    The inn has been painted in a fresh
coat of blood red, and the orc bartender quite appreciates
it.
    With a jovial laugh, Stranger stretches
his recently worked muscles and wipes back his hair, drenched
crimson due to the massive amounts of blood he has been splattered
with.
    “NOW THAT'S A GOOD AFTERNOON FIGHT. AM
I RIGHT?!” he yells with a wide, friendly grin.
    “Uh, yeah,” UDGD says, wiping the blood
of five different people from his face.
    “Pffft, I've had it worse. These guys
were scrubs in comparison to the things I've dealt with,” Mr.
Honkers states himself, leaning back in forth in his chair like a
child. IMRM simply nods that this fight was crazier than most, as
he has rarely engaged any more than five enemies at a single time.
Stranger laughs, sheathes his four-foot-seven blade and presents
his hand in greeting.
    “THEY CALL ME SUPER INSANE SWORDSMAN
THAT YELLS A LOT. IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YA’!” he says, extending
a large hand in invitation to shake.
    IMRM is the only one of the three that
makes the comparison, but “Super Insane Swordsman that Yells” can
be shortened to “SISY”- let’s call him that, Reader.
    UDGD pauses a moment, looking at the
man's hand, and shakes it.
    “They call me Ultra Death Graveman
Death Death Death. There’s three ‘Deaths’ in the name because
you’re more likely t’die by my hand than any other, though 'Death'
would work fine.”
    “My name is Mr. Honkers. Unbelievably
cool, I know.”
    “Apparently my title is Insanely
Masculine Robot Man. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance,”
the three of them introduce.
    “VERY COOL, FRIENDS, VERY COOL!