Read With the Father for Free Online Page B

day?”
    “At first, it was
just a couple of days here and there. But I’ve been going in more lately.”
    “What are you
cleaning up?” I asked. My heart pounded in my chest while I waited for her to
answer.
    She lowered her
gaze and shifted on the bench beside me. I could feel her reluctance. “Maddox
wanted someone you trust to go through it. He didn’t think you’d be able
to handle it. Not any time soon anyway. There’s stuff in there that he needs,
and he doesn’t have time to sift through it all. Honestly, Jonathan wasn’t very
organized.”
    The utterance of my
late husband’s name in an unfavorable light caused everyone at the table to
become unnaturally still and quiet. A child cried somewhere in the diner,
echoing my thoughts exactly.
    “Can we go?” I
asked. “I need to get some air.”
    Father Paul took
out his wallet and slipped some money on the table. He was immediately on his
feet and gestured for us to follow him. “Let me take her to her car,” he
said to Kate. “I need to grab something at the church anyway.”
    She turned her lost-puppy eyes on me. “I guess so,
if that’s what Grace wants.”
    I nodded resolutely without meeting her gaze. I
needed to put some distance between us. I certainly didn’t want to be trapped
in a car with her all the way across town.
    The two of them
talked quietly as we walked through the parking lot. When we got to the cars,
they said their goodbyes while I got into Father Paul’s car.
    We traveled several
blocks before he pulled over against the curb and finally spoke. “Are you,
okay?”
    I wasn’t. “I’m
fine.”
    He turned in his
seat and cocked an eyebrow at me. The way he was looking at me, like he could
see straight into my marred soul, like he knew the depths of my grief, only
made me angrier. It also had the bizarre effect of making me want to talk, even
if it was just to lash out.
    “Sometimes I feel
like I can’t control what’s going to come out of my mouth. I’m just so angry.”
    “What makes you
angrier?” he asked. “The fact that she didn’t tell you until now or the fact
that she’s going through Jonathan’s things?”
    I was now in the
exact situation I’d been trying to avoid. Our dinner had turned into a Father
Paul counseling session. I didn’t want counseling. I didn’t want grief groups,
psychiatrists, or priests, poking around in my brain, stirring up emotions that
were better left unexpressed. If I let them rise to the surface, I might not
survive it. So I said nothing.
    “Talk to me, Grace.
Please.”
    I balled my fists
and pressed them into my legs. “I don’t know,” I spat. “Both I guess.”
    “Of course, I don’t
know Kate very well, but I think her intentions are good. She put her life on
hold to be here for you. She wants to help but probably feels pretty useless.”
    Was he serious?
She feels useless?
    “I didn’t ask her
to do it.”
    “But she probably
had no choice but to do it anyway. She obviously loves you, and she’s your
family.”
    I stared out the window and at the dark
storefronts of the closed businesses outside. “I don’t have a family any more.”
    “You do. You have Kate, and you have your father.
You have everyone at the soup kitchen. You have me.”
    I couldn’t be anything to those people any more. I
had nothing to offer them, and I didn’t want to be a taker that never gives
anything back. “Please don’t,” I said.
    “We miss you. The people at Karen’s Kitchen miss
you.”
    “I can’t go back there. I’m sorry. My heart’s just
not in it any more.”
    His lips pressed together while he considered
that. He reached a hand out as if to touch mine, but then he pulled it back and
dropped it in his lap. “The coat drive is coming up. That always meant so much
to your mother, and you know you can do it in your sleep.”
    Bringing my mother into this was a low blow. Of
course, I wanted my mom’s legacy to live on, but there were other people that
could take care