assume that it was his last route of the day , given his erratic driving, for lack of a better term. Not that that helped my mood any. An older woman tried to push past me on my way off the tram, almost knocking my balance. By the time I opened the gate , my mood was darker than the incoming storm, which seemed very fitting as Lysander growled and grumbled behind me.
Ten
I slammed the door behind us and threw off my boots, the soft thud of them hitting the wall only punctuating Lysander's huffing.
"Speak , hound,” I snapped.
"I have done nothing wrong , " he shouted back.
He was right, I knew he was, but I didn't know how to express it. He paced around the living room area, his fingers dragging through his thick black hair, his muscles tight and his gait short and sharp.
"I have done all I can to make you happy, and you pull away, you deny me, for what? Because I am the wrong species? I feel your emotions, your desires, and you still drive me away. Then, you openly lust after a witch!"
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. "The witch is still a human, not a beast."
His flinch stung me.
"I drive you away because I'm scared, I'm terrified. I do not know what I'm supposed to do with you! I have never known a happy relationship, I separated myself from the world to protect it. To protect Quin. Then you came along!"
Tears tumbled down my cheeks.
"I am not to blame for your decisions Evelyn."
"I cannot help my fear , Lysander. I saw what you did."
His hands wrapped around my upper arms. "And you saw what I have done with and for you. You cannot hold my past against me." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Please."
My legs trembled, the weight of the world heavy upon my shoulders. The regret of my decisions, of the path I'd carved for myself weakening my increasingly weary muscles. He held me close to him, his arms gentle around me, keeping me safe as the tears fled down my cheeks and leapt off my jaw.
"I can't lose you. I can't have my heart broken again. I am weak, I couldn't survive it. It almost killed me with Christian."
He pulled back from me a little and delicately brushed the tears from my face. “I swear to you Evelyn, I would never do that to you."
"I need time, and space. I'm not ready. I need to clear my head, I need to figure myself out. Give me that."
He rested his chin on the top of my head. "I'll be waiting for you."
I sighed and leaned into him, embracing the security and sanctuary he offered me.
Softly he asked, "And the witch?"
I couldn't look him in the eye . "I won't deny that I am attracted to him, that I would sleep with him given the chance."
He simply nodded and kissed my forehead. "I understand, as best as I can."
He stepped back and brushed away the last of my tears. "I'm going for a run, mistress."
With that, he left. I was alone with my thoughts, the emotions roiling within me. Why couldn't anything be simple?
The sensation of my heart breaking returned to me as I remembered finding Christian in bed with the nymph. I'd thought he was the one, my other half, the one who completed me. Yet he'd thought nothing of throwing it all away. I knew the hound could speak no lie, not to me, but that didn't mean he could see the future. He thought he'd never do that to me, but he didn't know. Not really.
The feeling of intense loneliness settled over me. Quin was with Kadrix, Elise was in her church, and my hound, my dear hound, was running through the city. I gazed out the window to see the dark sky throwing rain down upon the city as though punishing it for my deeds, my mistakes. Taking a deep breath , I pulled myself together and retrieved the witch's number from my pocket. I needed to escape, to lose myself in something pleasurable. I had no interest in getting drunk, but him, I knew I could lose myself in him. He replied within seconds, eager to see me again, or so he said. It was set. The decision made.
I went through the motions of making