satin dress, and Salâs three sisters: Tony and Rosyâs widowed mother, Agata; Carmela, whoâs unmarried; and Rosaria, the mother of Alessia, Mindy, Cinzia, and Valentina, a widow but not beyond the shadow of a doubt, in the sense that her husband disappeared and his body has never been found. On the rare occasions when she talks about the missing man, Lullo Caruso, Rosaria never fails to say, âThe big fat bastard!â A comment that arouses the legitimate suspicion that Sal Scali was in some way involved in Lulloâs disappearance.
Then there are all the half relatives, relatives through marriage, the children of cousins who emigrated, nephews of dead uncles, husbands of cousins of brothers, grandmothers of somebody, grandmothers in black with shawls, arranged at random around the barbecue like the spots on a Dalmatian ⦠And, last but not least, Alessia, Mindy, Cinzia, and Valentina Caruso.
Tonyâs younger sister, Rosy (about fifteen or twenty years younger, youâd say, if you knew Tonyâs exact age), is sitting on a wicker couch that she says is killing her stockings. She looks around anxiously.
â Minchia ,â she says to Cinzia, âletâs hope Steve doesnât stop by.â
âWhy didnât you invite him?â Cinzia asks, trying to balance a huge plate of meat on her lap.
âWhat are you, stupid? Steve was supposed to be going to the opening of a pub this evening and, because of this asshole barbecue, I had to tell him I had the flu. Do you think I could have told him, âNo, I canât come because I gotta go to a barbecue given by my hairdresser brotherâ?â
Cinzia shakes her head in sympathy.
âAnd you know how well he took it. âWhat,â he says, âyou gotta get the flu tonight of all nights? You want me to show up with some dog and make us both look like a couple of losers?ââ
âSo what did you say?â
âWhat did I say? What did I say? I slammed down the phone! Sure, the flu was a lie, but excuse me, did he know it was a lie? He tells me off because I got the flu? Asshole!â
Cinzia is trying to cut the meat into smaller pieces.
âHow can you eat that crap?â Rosy says. âItâs all ⦠hacked to pieces!â She laughs. âIt looks like the fly on Steveâs pants.â
Cinzia lifts her knife and fork from the plate.
âSteve cuts his jeans with scissors. Here!â Rosy says, putting her hands between her legs. âThen when he puts them on, he staples them!â
Cinzia says nothing.
Rosy sighs. â Minchia  ⦠letâs just hope he doesnât happen to drop by!â
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
The black Mercedes is parked in front of Tonyâs garden. Tuccio, his eyes still on the wheel, says to Nuccio, âWeâre going to get out now and go to the fucking barbecue, and you keep your mouth shut. Got it? Iâll do the talking. Let me do the talking. Make like youâre not here. Got it?â
âFuuuuuck, what a fucking kaboom!â
âI said shut up!â
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
âDo you realize what bullshit that is? I donât envy anybodyâs penis! What Iâve got is clearly an Oedipus complex!â
In Tonyâs kitchen, Alessia, whoâs studying psychology, is telling Mindy sheâs the living refutation of psychoanalysis and all that bullshit about men and the Oedipus complex, because sheâs the one who wants to kill her father!
âAle, you havenât even got a father,â Mindy says.
âSo what? Makes no difference ⦠Iâd like to kill Uncle Sal!â
âIt isnât nice to kill anybody,â Mindy says.
âIn my head, Mindy, donât you get it? Only in my headâ¦â
Mindy is dressed in one of those dresses her mother makes her from a pattern. She looks like a figurine cut out of one of those fashion magazines that