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settle down at some point…make us more permanent. But I knew I couldn’t do that. Not with you…for whatever reason…”
    My temper burst forth sooner than I’d expected. “ What reason? How do you fall out of love with someone, Brandon? How? ”  
    “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling, Soph. When I really examined the situation and how things were going and how I was becoming more and more unhappy, for whatever reason…even if that reason is no reason at all…well…you can’t live life like that, you know? You can’t live in unhappiness. I figured it was better to cut it off sooner rather than later. It was the best thing for both of us.”
    “I didn’t know you were unhappy with me,” I said softly. “I figured it was always work that was getting you down. Seriously, like only a few weeks before we broke up you suddenly seemed so different. You always said it was work and to not worry about it. I didn’t want to make you angry so I left it alone.”
    “There was nothing you could do. Nothing. It had just run its course.”
    “I guess I don’t understand.” I paused. “I have trouble accepting it.” I blew at my bangs and gave a fake chuckle. “I have trouble with acceptance, you know?”
    He cracked a very small smile. It was his way of saying, “I know.”
    “I still care for you so much,” he started.
    “Don’t patronize me, Brandon, please.”
    “No, I do. I never stopped caring for you.” He rested his hand on my knee, then quickly removed it as I edged away. “But I did stop loving you. And if you don’t love someone, then you can’t stay with them…in this kind of a relationship…there’s no future. And it hurts me to hurt you.”
    “Oh please,” I said. “You hurt me plenty! Don’t tell me that it hurts you.”
    “It does. It hurt me to hurt you. That’s no lie. But it doesn’t excuse me or even answer why I did it. But was there ever any way to not hurt you with news like this? News that I want to move on?”
    “I guess not.” I was cold. Chilled like ice.
    Silence.
    Finally I said, “I don’t understand why it suddenly wasn’t working, but I do respect that you wanted to move on. No sense in dragging me through the pain, and no sense in you staying miserable.”
    “Exactly. That’s no way to live.”
    Silence again.
    “But I’m still so attracted to you, Sophie.” His voice was soft and smooth. Too smooth. “And I miss you so much. I really hate that this happened.”
    “Then why on Earth did you cut me out of your life? Why did you make this happen? It was all your doing! Your choice to break us off. Give me an answer, dammit. Please.”
    “Because,” he said, running a hand through his thick and wavy locks. “Because I only see myself hurting you in the future. I don’t see this attraction or this care for you or this…this…missing you going anywhere positively. It’s how I feel now and probably will for awhile, but I won’t feel this way in the future. I won’t feel this way forever. At least those feelings won’t be enough for me to justify staying in a relationship with you…in a relationship that isn’t good enough for either of us. We both deserve to be happy, Sophie, and I don’t think I can do that for you. And you can’t do that for me.
    “Besides, eventually all of this missing each other and attraction and wanting what we used to have will fall away and there won’t be that love to hold us together. And we’ll both be miserable, having wasted years of our lives in misery together…never making the most out of life. And you don’t want that. I don’t want that.”
    I nodded my head in understanding. Surprisingly, everything said made sense. Obviously I wasn’t in total agreement with him, but I was beginning to see his logic and rationale. Slowly I was beginning to realize that if love dies, what more can a relationship stand on? And if love is one-sided, what kind of relationship is that anyhow? Certainly not one that has