the way, and then we’d
both
feel enlightened. It wasn’t like that now, though. Her voice had weakened the way it did these days, and I felt bad for pushing her.
‘I know you love Ti, and she’s been good to you, helping you stick up for yourself, and looking out for you, but you have to understand that we can’t ignore behaviour like this. The girl has problems, Rosie. Even you’ve admitted as much.’
‘I said she doesn’t always have the easiest home life, her family put her under pressure from time to time . . .’
Mum looked at Dad in a way that made me nervous, and he took over again.
‘We don’t think it’s a good idea for you to spend time with her any more, not for a while at least. Until she’s pulled herself together a little bit.’
‘No!’
‘Just while the dust settles . . .’
‘You’re so obsessed with the fact that she’s a bad influence that you don’t see how she’s a good influence, how much she helps me! And what if I’m a good influence on her? What if stopping me from seeing her makes everything worse?’
‘It’s not your responsibility to keep Titania’s behaviour in check,’ Mum said. ‘Her parents should be doing that.’
‘Well, what if
I’m
the bad influence?’
Mum laughed then. ‘Bloody sneaky bad influence if it’s you.’
Dad joined in. He tried not to, but he couldn’t help it, and I wanted to tell them that they were wrong about me, that I wasn’t the good girl they thought. That I walked the town at night with Ti. I’d been in Chase’s garden.
I
lied to
them
too. But what would it achieve? To say I was a liar and a wimp, not the person they thought at all, when their eyes glowed with love and here Mum was actually laughing.
‘I’m sorry,’ Mum said. ‘We aren’t laughing at you, we want what’s best for you, we just . . .’
She winced slightly and rubbed at her temples, another headache starting. It was time to go.
Ten
When the phone rang late that night I knew it would be Ti, and for the first time in the history of us I felt nervous. Partly because I was worried Mum or Dad would pick up the other line and tell her outright she wasn’t to call any more, but mostly because I hadn’t decided what to say.
I’d been lying in wait beneath the paper moon on the landing, just in case she called, but I couldn’t think how to tell her what had happened with my confession.
‘How was school?’ she said, trying for casual, at the same time as I blurted out: ‘I went to see Kes.’
I could feel the truth set to tumble from me like Lego bricks from Joey’s basket, because I had never kept a secret from Ti, and I wasn’t intending to start now, but she jumped in before I had finished, and she sounded so shocked that I was embarrassed.
‘You really did it? What did he say?’
‘He thought I was just making it up because I wanted my friend back,’ I said, amazed at how convincing my lie sounded. Ti’s breath was long, and I scrunched my eyes shut and wound the phonecord round my finger, heart bashing at my insides.
He said Chase counts and you don’t. That you brought it on yourself. That I should forget you.
‘I mean, he got rid of me pretty fast. I’m sorry, Ti. I feel terrible . . . I should have tried harder. I should have stayed with you when I had the chance or stopped you, or
something
. . .’
‘No, I should have stayed with
you
when I had the chance. We never should have gone to that stupid garden.’
The gnawing feeling in my stomach wouldn’t go away. I hated knowing things Ti didn’t. It made everything uneven between us, like I was an evil overlord and she was some innocent peasant.
‘I hate Fairfields without you.’
‘I know. I’m going to hate The Bridge without you. Actually I think I’d hate The Bridge
with
you; there’s not much to like about it from what Phe says. Soz, I’m not trying to make you feel bad.’
‘It’s okay. I mean, I know.’
As we embarked on the first awkward silence of our