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table has turned into a battlefield, maybe it’s time to retreat to safer ground. Protected by a thick towel or waterproof pad, almost any flat surface can be used for diapering—and the farther away from the despised changing table, the better. Try the living room floor, a hassock or large beanbag chair, the crib (with side railing down), your bed, the bathroom.
    Attack vertically. Once a child is toddling on his own, it’s an affront to be forced down onto his back. So it’s often expedient (if not easy) to diaper toddlers where they stand—assuming the diaper is merely wet and the underlying surface can tolerate a sudden flood. Approaching the behind from behind is the wisest tactic. Also helpful is a distracting sight—birds outside the window, changing shadows on the wall, a perpetual-motion machine.
    Forget the element of surprise. If your toddler is in the middle of an activity, try to wait until he’s finished to make the change; or take his toy along to the changing table.
    Try a change of command. If Mommy with a diaper signals a struggle to your toddler, it may be time to call for reinforcements. Whenever possible, leave the diapering to Daddy or recruit anyone else who’s available and willing to tackle the task. With the novelty of a different diaperer, your opponent may be diapered before he knows what hit him.
    Resort to force . . . If none of the above seems to work, hold your toddler down (or better still, have an ally restrain those swinging feet) and get the job done as quickly as possible. Be friendly but firm. And don’t feel guilty. After all, he has to wear a diaper whether he likes it or not.
    . . . but not to brute force. However, spanking is never a good solution to this or any other parenting problem. Though the shock of a slap on the bottom may quiet a toddler temporarily, it relays a message you don’t want to transmit—that hitting is the way to get what you want and to control others. It could also injure your child.
    Try to keep your cool. If you’re non-combative, your little adversary may lose interest in fighting. It takes two, after all, to tussle.
    Look to the future. The diaper struggles will not last forever. One of these days, your toddler will enter the toilet-learning phase and switch to training pants. To be sure you don’t go from the diaper wars to the battle of the potty, prepare yourself and your toddler for this big move by reading Chapter Nineteen.
A PPETITE SLUMP
    “We used to congratulate ourselves on how well our daughter ate. But all of a sudden she’s rejecting everything, including all her old favorites. Could she be sick?”
    As long as she isn’t exhibiting any other signs of illness (lethargy, weakness, fatigue, fever, weight loss, irritability), rejecting food is not likely to be a sign of illness. Rather, it probably represents four convergent developmental factors:
    One, a budding sense of autonomy is characteristic of normal toddlerhood. This spirit of independence will likely take many forms in the months to come; eventually, you may face it not only at mealtime but at dressing time, bath time, play time, bedtime, and just about every other time.
    Two, the normal slowdown in growth—and thus in the need for calories—that occurs at the end of the first year. If your toddler continued consuming calories and gaining weight at the same rate she did in her first year (when she probably better than tripled her birth-weight, gaining nearly as much as she’ll gain in the next four years combined), she’d weigh as much as a fifth grader before reaching her second birthday.
    Three, a newly active lifestyle. Toddlers often become so engrossed in practicing walking and other new skills that they are reluctant to take time out to do anything else, even eat.
    Four, an improved memory. A young infant feeds like there’s no tomorrow (or no next feeding). But a toddler begins to realize, “They feed me several times a day around here. If I don’t eat now, I