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experienced any of that stuff you see on TV for ourselves, have we?” Sebastian said, digging his fists in his pockets. “We don’t really know what it’s like to be out in the world. And you won’t go out there because you think all of that stuff could happen to you.”
    “I don’t.”
    “You do.”
    “I don’t, Sebastian.”
    “It’s not healthy.”
    “It’s better reading about it than going through it ourselves.”
    “I think it’s time we get out more.”
    “Speak for yourself.”
    “Mum’s pushing for it, you know. For us to spend more time out there.”
    “Maya? No way.”
    “That’s why we’ve been going down on market days. One step at a time.”
    “No way.”
    “Come on. What would our life be like if we were up here for our whole lives?”
    “No way.”
    They pulled up at the gravel road side in between the entry to the kitchen cabin and the bedroom cabin Sebastian shared with Maya and Kristian.
    “So now do you see we’re just talking about this crap to avoid thinking about what’s really going on here?”
    Emmy nodded, but then shook her head. “It’s not crap. But I’d rather be worrying about it than your mum.”
    “You said it’s all going to be fine.”
    Kristian beeped the horn as he pulled up beside them.
    “So how is she?” Sebastian shouted to his father over the engine.
    “Everything’s under control.” Kristian grinned, stepping out of the van.
    Emmy could see through the false cheer. She immediately felt bad for being preoccupied with someone other than her own family. She left Sebastian and Kristian to help Maya, turning to her own mother for clues to what news they had to report. All Emmy could see were darker rings under her eyes. “You look tired, Mum.”
    “It’s been a big day, Em,” Ingrid murmured in her ear.
    “What did the doctor say about you both?”
    “I’m fine. They say everything seems normal. But we’ll get Maya’s results in a day or so. It was just a check-up for me. A blood test and that was it.”
    Emmy turned to Maya.
    “They sent me to the hospital for tests,” Maya said. “I’m going back to the doctor’s in a few days for the results and maybe more tests. They poked and prodded, I can tell you.”
    “They didn’t waste any time,” Sebastian mumbled.
    Ingrid rubbed Emmy’s arm. “It’s okay, Em. Everything will work out. It always does for us.”
    Emmy raised her eyebrows.
    “Well, it has since we’ve been up here,” Ingrid added.
    *
    Under the lamplight, in their sitting room below the loft bedroom, Emmy sat with Ingrid. Their books were open in their laps but neither of them was reading.
    “I don’t think I can sleep tonight,” Ingrid said.
    “You said she was going to be okay. It’ll work out.”
    Ingrid’s voice shook . “If I lose her, Em…”
    “You’re not going to lose her.”
    “I don’t know if I can take it.”
    “The doctors’ll know what to do.”
    “The week my parents drowned, she was the only one who knew how to handle things.”
    Emmy shifted in her seat, reaching for a cushion, trying to get comfortable.
    “She’s not dying,” she said in an effort to curtail the story of her grandparents, hoping her mother wouldn’t go into details. It was so ominous the way she pictured her grandfather’s dead body caught in the ropes and dragging behind his fishing boat through town. Her grandmother was found a week later according to gossip, left wandering the streets, drunk and grieving, only to be found face down in the shallows of the river.
    Ingrid pulled the hair back off her face and sighed . “If it wasn’t for Maya, we wouldn’t have this life.”
    “No one else is going to die, Mum.”
    “Can you imagine waking up and having breakfast and then oops there’s no milk. And everyone will be like Where’s Maya? Out with the goats? Nope, She’s dead, remember? ”
    “I’ll milk the goats from now on,” Emmy offered.
    Ingrid shook her head, and rubbed her face, as though erasing