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mind, and there’s no changing it now. He doesn’t want me.
    “Look, you love Chicago—you love Aunt Mona. Honestly, Sera, it’ll be more of a treat than you deserve after being grounded so many times this year.” His eyes plead with me to agree.
    His statement is true. This, I don’t argue. Despite my heartache, I’m not completely put-off by the thought of living with Aunt Mona. As Mom’s older sister, she’s the closest thing I have to knowing my mom.
    Ray claims they’re nothing alike, and I wonder about the truth of that statement. Mona doesn’t bear any resemblance to me. How different can she really be? They are— were sisters.
    I’ve spent a few weekends with Mona. Although I don’t show Ray, the thought of getting to know her better raises my spirits. In my mind, I resolve to soak up every moment with her, just as though she’s my own mother. Sadly, I find myself reaching for anything that will let me hang onto my mom. I tell myself this is normal. Because of all my craziness, I need someone to hang on to, even if the person is gone.
    For Ray, I pretend to be overwrought with anxiety—but just for fun. It seems an appropriate farewell gift for him. He believes I have “teen angst.” I’m happy to oblige. The new arguments I create give me more face time with him. And extra time is better than no time.
    •
    The day after New Year’s, I pack one suitcase. It contains all my warmest clothes. Still, they won’t be warm enough for Chicago’s Siberian winter.
    We drive west on the Dolphin Turnpike toward Miami International Airport. I recline my seat, stare out the window, and focus on the perfect, cerulean blue sky. In my mind, I say my farewells, but not to the city. I didn’t live here long enough to grow attached, but I do enjoy the weather. The beaming sun, the palm trees—I relish them for now. I’m committing these images to my memory for later when I’m freezing in Chicago. Soon enough, I know I will need them.
    When we arrive at the airport, Ray checks me in at the reservation counter. He gives me an awkward pat on the back and kisses me on the forehead. Even though I crave his affections, they don’t feel right when I get them. They feel forced.
    “Try to be on your best behavior, Sera. I really would appreciate it. I don’t want Mona to think I’m a complete failure at keeping you under control.” He gives a weak smile. I think he’s happy to get rid of me. Now, nothing will distract him from Maddi.
    “I’ll make sure she knows you’re the best dad in the whole world,” I say. He cringes at my facetious comment. “Really, Dad, you are the best. I’ll be on my best behavior.” I look down at the floor, guilty. This is the last thing I can offer him, my last shot at redemption in his eyes. I want him to ask me to stay, but I know he won’t.
    “All right, then.” The smile on his face makes it seem as though he appreciates the gesture, but it still isn’t enough. “Go jump in the security line. Call me when you get to Mona’s. Have a good trip!” he says then nods. He pushes back on his heels and turns to walk away.
    Three nauseating hours of flying later, I arrive at Midway Airport. I’m not sure if I feel sick because I hate flying or because I’m leaving Ray. Either way, I’m depressed.
    When I finally make my way to baggage claim, the conveyer belt never spits out my sticker-covered luggage. I watch in horror as the empty carousel makes several rotations.
    Sadly, my only possessions now are the clothes on my back. Cell phone, winter coat, clothes, the boy’s photograph, and Eliza’s bracelet and photo are lost in travel limbo. My nose burns, threatening tears for the last few items. I hold my fingers to the bridge between my eyes and squeeze them away.
    With the waterworks pushed back, I become angry with myself. What a stupid thing for me to do, leaving the bracelet and photographs in my suitcase! What was I thinking? I grow annoyed, and my lips pinch