pen. I write my name and home number on it. I want to give it to her, but she's back in her book making a big show of ignoring my presence.
So instead of handing it to her, I slip the paper on the bedside table underneath the alarm clock.
"Could you please tell him Bunny came by?" I ask. "I would appreciate it if he could call me."
"Uh uh."
I turn and close the door behind me. I hold myself together until I reach my car. I drive away as sedately as possible so nobody watching can see how upset I am and then I stop on a dirt road. Only there do I let my rage explode.
As if the frustration from work were not enough, I had to run into that arrogant bitch. I bang my fist against the steering wheel and scream out my anger.
I'm not sure whom I'm angriest at.
Everything and everyone.
I'm angry at myself first for getting caught. I was so sure we had never been careless, but I should have known better. Even in the heat of the moment, the woman needs to check that protection is used.
I'm angry at Doc for making me believe he cared and would come back for me. I wasn't asking for promises. He shouldn’t have given me hope if it was to snatch it away so quickly.
And finally, I'm so, so mad at Everest for making me look for Doc.
The last thing I needed was the humiliation of facing his new girl. Because she has to be his new girl. Who else but a girlfriend would be in his room, lying on his bed while he's out?
At the end of the day, I know it's all my fault.
With each kiss, I felt love.
With each caress, I heard a promise.
I was so sure I wasn't dreaming, but I should have known better. Why do I hear more than what is being said. I need to listen better.
No words were ever used to plan for tomorrows. It was all in my head.
8
Doc
A ll I want is a shower and my bed. It’s been a hell of a day, most of it spent patching up the results of yet another drunk driver. At least he hit a bus, and not a minivan. Still we spent the day patching up kids.
No one protested my choice of anesthetic—none. The head nurse’s normal frown lifted a bit, just enough to be called a smile. That smile made my day.
When I step through the door of my room Raven’s there. Of course she is, reading a book on my bed. Damn it.
"Hey, Doc," she asks looking up from one of the romance novels she loves. "How was your day? How are you?"
“What are you doing here?” Yeah, what the fuck gives her the right to try and claim my space, my time… especially after a shift like that?
Oblivious to the bite of my tone she purrs, "Oh, poor baby." She gets on her knees and closes her book. "What if gave you a back rub?"
I roll my eyes at her and point to the door.
"Goodnight, Raven." I'm in no mood to deal with her nonsense.
"Why are you so mean to me?" she asks with a pitiful tone.
She looks so miserable and unhappy that I soften my tone to tell her, "I'm not. You don't listen."
"Yes, I do listen. You said rest and calm. Can I stay if I promise to be real quiet?" she pleads, dropping her book on my nightstand and walking toward me.
I point to the door again.
"Nope! Right now, I need to be alone." The girl is trying my patience.
She pouts and relents. "Fine, I'll go."
As soon as the door slams behind her I strip and get the shower running. It takes at least a full minute before the hot water kicks in. I step back into my room to grab a towel and laugh. She's left her book on my nightstand. I shake my head and curse under my breath. The girl is impossible.
While under the shower, I wonder what to do about her. The options are limited. The only way I can shake her loose is behaving like an ass with her. I told her I wasn't interested, but she doesn't get it. Why do women have to be so complicated? Not just her, most women.
The scalding water conjures memories of showers taken with Bunny in her tiny studio by the university. One thing I loved about Bunny was that she was not complicated. Everything about her was easy.
When I close my eyes, I see