Victoria

Read Victoria for Free Online Page A

Book: Read Victoria for Free Online
Authors: Knut Hamsun
That’s how things have been moving along tonight. What shall I do? I can’t believe you will go on bearing a grudge against me once you’ve heard the whole story. I sat here writing, I tell you, without stirring; I remembered about you and kept silent. Then, for a moment, it slipped my mind, my breast was about to burst; maybe I got up then, maybe I also got up once more in the course of the night and paced about the room a few times. I was so happy.”
    “I didn’t hear you very much during the night,” the man says. “But it’s completely inexcusable of you to open the window at this hour and holler like that.”
    “Well, yes, it is inexcusable. But now I’ve given you an explanation. You see, I’ve never had a night like this. Something happened to me yesterday. I’m taking a walk and there, in the street, I meet my happiness—but listen, please: I meet my star and my happiness. And then, do you know, she kisses me. Her lips were so red and I love her, she kisses me and intoxicates me. Have your lips ever trembled so hard that you couldn’t speak? I couldn’t speak, my heart made my whole body shake. I raced home and fell asleep; I sat here, on this chair, and slept. When evening came I woke up. My soul was rocking up and down with excitement and I began to write. What I wrote? Here it is! I was carried away by a strange and glorious line of thought, the heavens were opened, it was like a warm summer’s day for my soul; an angel offered me wine and I drank it, intoxicating wine which I drank out of a garnet cup. Did I hear the clock strike? Did I see the lamp burn itself out? I wish to God you’d understand! I lived it all afresh, one more time; I was again walking the street with my beloved and everybody turned to look at her. We walked in the park, we met the King, I lowered my hat to the ground before him for joy, and the King turned to look at her, at my beloved, because she is so tall and lovely. We walked downtown again, and all the school-children turned to look at her, because she is young and has a light-colored dress. When we came to a red brick house, we went in. I followed her up the steps and was about to kneel before her. Then she threw her arms around me and kissed me. This happened to me yesterday evening, as recently as that. If you were to ask me what I’ve written, I would say: I’ve written an endless song to joy, to happiness. It was as though happiness lay naked before me with a long, laughing throat and wanted to come to me.”
    “Hm, I really don’t want to continue this conversation,” the man says, annoyed and resigned. “I’ve spoken to you for the last time.”
    Johannes stops him at the door.
    “Just a moment. Why, you should have seen yourself—it looked as though your face was wreathed in sunlight. I saw it the moment you turned around; it was the lamp, it threw a sun-fleck on your forehead. You weren’t so angry anymore, I noticed. Well, I did open the window, and I sang too loud. I was everybody’s happy brother. These things do happen sometimes. Common sense goes by the board. I ought to have considered that you were still asleep—”
    “The whole town is still asleep.”
    “Yes, it’s early. I would like to give you something. Will you accept this? It’s silver, it was given to me. A little girl I once rescued gave it to me. There you are! It holds twenty cigarettes. You won’t accept it? I see, you don’t smoke; but you should really get into the habit. May I drop by tomorrow and offer my apologies? I would like to do something, ask your forgiveness. . . .”
    “Good night.”
    “Good night. I’m going to bed now. I promise you I will. You won’t hear another sound from here. And in the future I’ll be more careful.”
    The man left.
    Johannes suddenly reopened the door and added, “By the way, I’ll be leaving. I won’t be disturbing you anymore, I’m leaving tomorrow. I forgot to tell you.”
     
    He did not leave. Several things detained

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