Read Vacation for Free Online Page B

work.
    I’m taking a sick day, in that case.
    What sick days. You take sick days when you’re sick. So which is it—are you sick or are you on vacation?
    I’m both, said Myers. Listen. It’s both. I’m leaving my wife.
    In the first month Myers followed her, they fought about light switches as well as lights. Dimmers, three levels. They fought about seven different things having to do with bicycles. They fought about round tin objects, lids, water, other liquids, other things having to do with liquid, with containers. She said they fought about everything.
    He said, Not so. There was plenty they didn’t fight about.
    See? Even that he had to contradict.
    I’m sorry to hear that, Myers. Really I am. The best thing you can do is to keep your seat belt on, as they say. High hat the hell hole. Eyes to the front, and so on. Shoot the face of misfortune.
    She’s moving out.
    Excellent. Better off without her, I say. No offense. Take moving day off. Listen, make moving day on the weekend. Make moving day next month. Let her move herself. We need you here this week. It’s a mess in here. You’ve got your own project. Projects.
    I’ve already left.
    Don’t tell me things I can see, Myers. My eyes are on your vanished form over your desk. Where are you? Where are you phoning from?
    Syracuse.
    That’s no vacation. That’s a smudge.
    To be accurate, they had not fought about most things.
    They had not fought about the shape of certain objects, never disagreed about whether an object was round or tall. They had not fought about the outlines of things, how it worked so that one thing could be separated from another, what occurred to mark the division atomically. They had not fought about any of Newton’s laws or Kepler’s laws or whoever was in charge these days, whoever had won. They agreed on up and down and how that worked and how to trigger it. The nonsubstance of shadows, the substance of what the shadows were shadows of. They agreed on God-related issues (there is no God, they believed) and on all that follows (no barricading oneself in or jaunting off somewhere to upset or placate a jealous God) (no floating up and down like balloons) (no Body moved anything first or was there before anybody else). They agreed on many practical truths: Mathematics seems to work fairly well, they thought, as do the languages, with a few garbage alleys of misunderstanding. The social sciences, such as psychology, have their place but it’s tiresome to discuss them, especially Freud.
    They even agreed on some aspects regarding lights—the way they work, the hardware, their function, etc.
    What kind of man behaves this way? she said.
    I mean, who did he think he was?
    I mean, what was he supposed to be? A husband?
    Let me tell you, husbands aren’t supposed to act this way.
    Myers, are you there? Myers.
    Yes.
    I’m not a difficult man, am I?
    No, you’re not.
    We give the standard allowances and perks. Discount parking, yes?
    I take the subway.
    I don’t try to be an asshole.
    No, you don’t.
    You’ve put me in a difficult situation here. You’ve been working on the Smithson journals. This is a new account, your first project. You have been entrusted with this. You have been the point man. Anything to do with Smithson, you are pointed at, and you, in turn, point elsewhere. What is the point of having a point man I can’t point to? No one else knows what is happening with Smithson. Smithson is due the day after tomorrow so it is obviously no good for you to come back the day after tomorrow. Where are the files? Are the files on your laptop?
    (Yes.)
    I always bring my work home with me, sir.
    Do we have backups here?
    (The backups were in his briefcase.)
    Safe in my briefcase, sir.
    What is the point of having files I don’t have?
    I don’t mean to drop the ball on this.
    You are throwing the balls out the window. You are throwing other things out the window. Reputations. Money. Jobs—your job. Now, today. Today is a bad day.