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she’s never had. She doesn’t need an orphaned schmuck with less money than common sense.
    ~
    Usually, forty-eight hours doesn’t seem like a whole lot. However, it’s the longest I’ve been away from Emily in the time I’ve known her. It’s hard for me to believe I’ve only known her such a short time because she’s my whole life. How can your whole life be consumed by one person you haven’t known your entire life?
    Since I don’t know the answer to that, I keep driving.
    ~
    It’s Friday the 13th. I hadn’t actually realized it until I stopped for gas, and the lady in front of me was writing a check. She asked what the date was. The attendant answered her in a gleeful, yet macabre tone. Can one celebrate Friday the 13th? If today is the thirteenth though, that means I’ve been sleeping in my car for six days.
    Six days without her beautiful eyes.
    Six days without hearing the slight lilt in her voice.
    Six days since she told me she loved me, and I left her—like a thief in the night. Six days of thinking about kissing, touching and holding Emily. It’s the only thing I’ve thought about.
    Suddenly, it hits me: I know exactly what the raccoon from yesterday felt like as the wheels of the truck ahead of me rolled over him crushing him from the outside in.

~Time~
    I drive and can’t help that my emotions are all over the place. I’m angry because I’ve been living in exile from the one… The one person who gives a shit whether I live or die… I left her alone to fend for herself.
    I take my rage out on the steering wheel before pulling over; I need a minute to collect myself.
    Two minutes.
    Five...
    It takes me half an hour before I’m calm enough to continue driving, but I rush because I want to get back to her. I want to touch her, be with her. I realize how fundamentally wrong I’ve been about my feelings for her. While I thought I was doing what was best for Emily, I never considered that I was really just protecting myself. I hadn’t taken her feelings into account. I hadn’t thought about what I was doing to her by leaving…and in the same accord, making her declaration of love, trivial.
    The anger fades and misery takes its place.
    I’m sad because I miss her. I need her more than air.
    I need air, and I need Emily.
    Air is so much easier.
    Before long, fear sets in. What if she isn’t there when I get back? Why would she be? I left her by herself for six days after I swore I’d take care of her.
    I think about what I did as I continue down the lonely stretch of highway.
    I worked so hard to separate myself from the drama and emotions of everyday life realizing I haven’t been living at all. I think of all the time I’ve wasted; all the time I could have been with her— been with her …
    Her legs are bare and slender. I imagine what’s just beyond the small rectangle of terry cloth. Her hair tickles the tops of her breasts, teasing me with what’s just beyond the knot of the towel. One small flick and she’d be naked before me, her body as fantastic as I’ve always imagined.
    My foot pushes a little harder on the accelerator as my frustration builds.
    I’m tired and feeling the effects of driving ten hours straight. As I consider pulling over, the guilt seeps in again. I’ve already been away from her for too long. I can’t stand to be apart from Emily any longer, but the seconds continue to tick by and I can’t seem to get there fast enough. I push on, despite being a danger to others on the road due to my exhaustion. I see a gas station ahead, and force myself off the road and into the brightly lit convenience store. After hours of lonesome interstate travel, the intense glow of the fluorescent lights hurts my eyes, and only serves to remind me of the dim nature of my existence without Emily. I make quick work of refueling the car and myself and then rejoin the blacktop.
    Finally, finally , I see the mile marker indicating my journey is almost over, an hour to go before