is deliciously aching. I don’t say two words to the two still lying on the bed in afterglow. Not as much as a thank you or even a fuck you very much. I pride myself on being all action and very little talk. Very little honest talk, I should say.
I grab my purse from the nightstand and walk out of the room and down the stairs. I go into the bathroom and hop in the shower, making the water as hot as humanly possible without burning myself. By the time my skin is a red to rival my lips, I step out and towel off. I didn’t grab my clothes from the room, but no matter. I always come prepared. I pull out panties and a bra from my purse and slide them onto my body. Panties are definitely not my favorite clothing option available, but after all of the sticky situations I’ve found myself in, I’ve decided to add them to my ever growing collection of purse junk. I always carry an oversized bag. I think that every girl needs a purse large enough to carry all of her secrets and sins. I grab my cigarettes out and stroll into the kitchen. It looks as if it’s never been used. That could be a result of numerous things. It’s possible that A) Eryn can’t cook worth a fuck, B) she cleans like a beast or C) she’s never home. Either way, no matter to me. I sit down on the ground and let the sensation of the cool tile floor wash over me. I pull a menthol out of the pack and slide it between my lips. I grab my hot pink lighter and burn the end of the cigarette. I inhale deeply and let the thick smoke fill my lungs past the point of no return before exhaling the cool taste outward. Peace surrounds me. I sit on the floor alone until my cigarette is almost smoked to the filter before I stand up and run it under cool water in the sink and throw the butt in the trash. I’m contemplating what to do next. I usually never even make it this far, I’m impressed with myself. I’m a fucked up piece of work, but I’m getting better every day.
I unzip my purse to place my cigarette pack and lighter back inside and stare at the contents. My mind takes me back to a dark place and I dance around in the shadows. I like feeling unashamed. I used to be a good girl before I was broken. I wanted marriage, little babies , and a future. Now, I couldn’t give a shit. All I want is to get fucked, feel empowered, and be left alone in the end. I hear footsteps so I quickly zip up my purse and sling it over my shoulder. I stand up and wrap my arms around my body. I’m suddenly feeling extremely cold.
Dear Diary, now what the fuck do I do?
My thoughts are running rampant and I ’d like nothing more than to a call a cab and get the fuck out of dodge before the shit hits the fan. I know that it’s only a matter of time. Eryn and Savage come in to look for me, just like I knew they would. I have that effect on people, attachment. They both have towels wrapped around their sexy bodies, but aren’t wearing anything else except for smiles. I’m sitting at the breakfast bar. Savage decides to cook some food, so that distracts me for a bit. I’m starving and my stomach keeps making it very obvious by growling loudly. He’s decides to make eggs, bacon, and biscuits. I can see the sun beginning to rise outside. No clue what time it is, but it must be the beginning of a new day. I never carry a cell phone on me or watch. I don’t care what the day of the week it is or what time it is. I check very rarely. I mostly just go with the flow. I don’t have a job to be at or a reason to care.
When breakfast is finished, he piles our plates high and I eat the food with haste. I barely even taste it because I ’m so fucking hungry. I don’t know how to cook whatsoever. I generally eat out. Not that fast food shit, but at restaurants where they care if people are going to gain a hundred pounds eating one burger. It’s sad to me how expensive healthy food is. America really has their priorities ass backward. I’m completely
I grab my purse from the nightstand and walk out of the room and down the stairs. I go into the bathroom and hop in the shower, making the water as hot as humanly possible without burning myself. By the time my skin is a red to rival my lips, I step out and towel off. I didn’t grab my clothes from the room, but no matter. I always come prepared. I pull out panties and a bra from my purse and slide them onto my body. Panties are definitely not my favorite clothing option available, but after all of the sticky situations I’ve found myself in, I’ve decided to add them to my ever growing collection of purse junk. I always carry an oversized bag. I think that every girl needs a purse large enough to carry all of her secrets and sins. I grab my cigarettes out and stroll into the kitchen. It looks as if it’s never been used. That could be a result of numerous things. It’s possible that A) Eryn can’t cook worth a fuck, B) she cleans like a beast or C) she’s never home. Either way, no matter to me. I sit down on the ground and let the sensation of the cool tile floor wash over me. I pull a menthol out of the pack and slide it between my lips. I grab my hot pink lighter and burn the end of the cigarette. I inhale deeply and let the thick smoke fill my lungs past the point of no return before exhaling the cool taste outward. Peace surrounds me. I sit on the floor alone until my cigarette is almost smoked to the filter before I stand up and run it under cool water in the sink and throw the butt in the trash. I’m contemplating what to do next. I usually never even make it this far, I’m impressed with myself. I’m a fucked up piece of work, but I’m getting better every day.
I unzip my purse to place my cigarette pack and lighter back inside and stare at the contents. My mind takes me back to a dark place and I dance around in the shadows. I like feeling unashamed. I used to be a good girl before I was broken. I wanted marriage, little babies , and a future. Now, I couldn’t give a shit. All I want is to get fucked, feel empowered, and be left alone in the end. I hear footsteps so I quickly zip up my purse and sling it over my shoulder. I stand up and wrap my arms around my body. I’m suddenly feeling extremely cold.
Dear Diary, now what the fuck do I do?
My thoughts are running rampant and I ’d like nothing more than to a call a cab and get the fuck out of dodge before the shit hits the fan. I know that it’s only a matter of time. Eryn and Savage come in to look for me, just like I knew they would. I have that effect on people, attachment. They both have towels wrapped around their sexy bodies, but aren’t wearing anything else except for smiles. I’m sitting at the breakfast bar. Savage decides to cook some food, so that distracts me for a bit. I’m starving and my stomach keeps making it very obvious by growling loudly. He’s decides to make eggs, bacon, and biscuits. I can see the sun beginning to rise outside. No clue what time it is, but it must be the beginning of a new day. I never carry a cell phone on me or watch. I don’t care what the day of the week it is or what time it is. I check very rarely. I mostly just go with the flow. I don’t have a job to be at or a reason to care.
When breakfast is finished, he piles our plates high and I eat the food with haste. I barely even taste it because I ’m so fucking hungry. I don’t know how to cook whatsoever. I generally eat out. Not that fast food shit, but at restaurants where they care if people are going to gain a hundred pounds eating one burger. It’s sad to me how expensive healthy food is. America really has their priorities ass backward. I’m completely
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