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I’m gonna be a good man.
    Love, your husband,
    Antonio
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    April 19, 1990
Dear Antonio,
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    You looked so good today in the courtroom. I ain’t never seen you in a suit before and you sure looked fresh in it.
It made me think that maybe if we went to church like my grandmother always trying to get me to do, I would have seen you in a suit before. And maybe if we went to church, God would smile down on us more like my grandmother say and this wouldn’t have happened. But, oh well, it did happen so here we are. Anyway, I helped your mother pick out that suit. We went all the way to Macy’s to get it. It cost almost 150 dollars, Antonio. Your mother said she had used some of the money she got from people after the funeral to buy it. She had wanted to buy you some of them corny ass loafers to wear with your suit, but I told her Antonio IS NOT gonna wear them shoes. She tried to challenge me, and said, “Little girl, I think I know my son better than you do.” So I had to break her heart and let her know she didn’t. I told her about them no-name jeans she used to get you from Conway, remember the ones with the pockets all high to your stomach and them thick cuffs at the bottom? I told her you used to take them jeans off in gym and wear sweats hanging down all day. She looked hurt about it, but at least she took my advice and we got the black sneaks. Who braiding your hair up in the joint? It looked all nice and neat and fresh. Let me find out you got a “girl”friend up in there! I’m just kidding. I know you wouldn’t never leave me and go that way. I was surprised that things was so short today. I thought we was gonna be there a long time. I thought it was gonna be a lot more screaming and yelling and the judge banging his gavel and stuff like that. But everything was pretty
chill, which was cool. The less action the better in this case, right? I think your lawyer real good. He did a good job talking to the jury about you, he made you sound real good. Not that you ain’t real good anyway, but it seemed like you was going through some shit you wasn’t letting me in on. I didn’t know you was going through it baby. Why didn’t you tell me? If we gonna be husband and wife, I’m gonna need to know these things. I’m gonna need to know about what’s going on with you at all times, so no shit like this don’t ever happen again.
    Love,
    Natasha
    PS. Madame Girard want me to apply for this special program they got for kids who go to public school in New York City to go to France over the summer. She said that you could spend like a whole month in Paris over the summer, living with a family and taking classes and going to all these art museums and stuff. She told me she would write me a recommendation because I do good in her class. See Antonio, when you come back to school you gotta make sure you do good in her class so she can write you a recommendation and you can go too. Maybe we can get married before we go and this can be our free honeymoon. Think about it, okay boo?
    Love again,
    Natasha

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    April 23, 1990
Dear Natasha,
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    Baby, you don’t know how good it felt to see you today. Did you notice anything different about me? I been lifting—I got muscles now. Three months in here and I ain’t no bird chest no more. MGD and Mookie was riding me the other day at lunch, talking bout You done graduated, son—pre-K to kindergarten. When I get out and we finally get some time alone, I’m gonna put it down like I never did before. Baby, you gonna love my new body. I’m hard as a brick. I think that tomorrow if you sit right behind me we could be close enough to hold hands under the railing, behind my chair. I don’t think the cops will notice if we be real low-key about it. I think that things is going real good for me with this thing. It seem like all the witnesses they have are doing a good job of