together, Katya, this isn’t just about you anymore. It affects the both of you.
Av a just sits, calmly gazing at me. Sometimes I think that even at her age, Ava is stronger than me. She holds an inner-strength and calm I can never tap into. “It’s going to be alright, Mom. I know it is. I can feel it.” She doesn’t pat her heart. No, not Ezra’s daughter- she taps her temple.
“The foods here,” Cortez yells from hole between the apartments. “Ava, go on and join the others.”
The instant Ava is in the other apartment, Cort is on me. His arms engulf me as he sits next to me on the sofa. “Shh… let it out. I’ve got you.” He tries to hold me and I push him off. “Hey, I know you’re not about the cuddling and coddling, but I need it, too.”
“I…I can’t,” I cry out, and it’s no longer can’t . I break down in his arms. My fingers twist Cort’s shirt as I sob into his chest. I turn into a pitiful mess.
“I can promise you this, Kitten, that bitch will never touch a hair on our girl’s head. Ezra will never marry her. I promise y ou. I know Ezra better than anyone on the planet. But sometimes he does shit that confuses the hell out of me.”
“That scares me,” I grumble into Cort’s shirt, still holding on to him for dear life.
“As it should, and it’s better that it does,” Cort warns. “We’ve never talked about Ezra and me, about what we mean to each other. Ezra had Aaron tell you because he is a coward. But Ezra and I used to be together before the abduction, as in, he was my boyfriend. We loved each other, and we still do. A lot of bad shit wrecked us, and a lot of it was Ezra’s doing. But recently, we’ve been trying to get back there, to that place where we were before everything happend. But sometimes, there is too much pain and hurt, and you don’t know if you can give your trust to the other person. What we saw the other night wrecked me, too. I bought us some time, so we could lick our wounds without an audience.”
“I’m sorry,” I sniffle.
“Me too… Me too. But you don’t worry about Adelaide, leave that to me. You just worry about getting Ava settled and bonded with her father. Ezra is a good man. He does what he feels is right. But he’s too arrogant to see when he’s wrong or too mentally ill to admit it. But we all have flaws, so I just deal.”
“Did what Ezra and I did break you two up?” I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s heartbreak.
“No, Kitten. It happened a few years before that, back when we were teenagers. I don’t want to explain it, I’m not ready. But we’re still committed to each other. I know you see me as a married man and a cheater. The only person I’m committed to is Ezra. I’ve never cheated on him. But Ezra has betrayed me many times, and I’ve retaliated when I shouldn’t. I am a lecher, and we all accept that. Emotions are different. Sex is sex, but I find the emotional attachments as the ultimate betrayal… and the lies.”
“You guys confuse me,” I mumble. But Cortez doesn’t confuse me. He is an open book. He does what he does and makes no apologies for it. He will tell you to your face if he plans on screwing you over. Cort’s bad behavior is severely honest, in a strange way.
“You’ll get used to us , eventually. After how you acted about Ezra’s impersonations, I thought you’d kill me when you remembered. I was worried about how you’d look at me when you saw me again. I feared you’d never speak to me again.”
“I don’t blame any of you. I was there, remember? I saw the look in your eyes. I rememb er how badly it affected you. I only blame Ray,” I say with conviction.
“Me too. I remember everything. It haunts me at night. Everything Ray made me do, haunts me. I can’t even look at Aaron without feeling sick,” Cort groans. I hold him as tightly as I can. Cort’s arms enclose me as he hides his face in my hair. I don’t know how long we stay like this,
Av a just sits, calmly gazing at me. Sometimes I think that even at her age, Ava is stronger than me. She holds an inner-strength and calm I can never tap into. “It’s going to be alright, Mom. I know it is. I can feel it.” She doesn’t pat her heart. No, not Ezra’s daughter- she taps her temple.
“The foods here,” Cortez yells from hole between the apartments. “Ava, go on and join the others.”
The instant Ava is in the other apartment, Cort is on me. His arms engulf me as he sits next to me on the sofa. “Shh… let it out. I’ve got you.” He tries to hold me and I push him off. “Hey, I know you’re not about the cuddling and coddling, but I need it, too.”
“I…I can’t,” I cry out, and it’s no longer can’t . I break down in his arms. My fingers twist Cort’s shirt as I sob into his chest. I turn into a pitiful mess.
“I can promise you this, Kitten, that bitch will never touch a hair on our girl’s head. Ezra will never marry her. I promise y ou. I know Ezra better than anyone on the planet. But sometimes he does shit that confuses the hell out of me.”
“That scares me,” I grumble into Cort’s shirt, still holding on to him for dear life.
“As it should, and it’s better that it does,” Cort warns. “We’ve never talked about Ezra and me, about what we mean to each other. Ezra had Aaron tell you because he is a coward. But Ezra and I used to be together before the abduction, as in, he was my boyfriend. We loved each other, and we still do. A lot of bad shit wrecked us, and a lot of it was Ezra’s doing. But recently, we’ve been trying to get back there, to that place where we were before everything happend. But sometimes, there is too much pain and hurt, and you don’t know if you can give your trust to the other person. What we saw the other night wrecked me, too. I bought us some time, so we could lick our wounds without an audience.”
“I’m sorry,” I sniffle.
“Me too… Me too. But you don’t worry about Adelaide, leave that to me. You just worry about getting Ava settled and bonded with her father. Ezra is a good man. He does what he feels is right. But he’s too arrogant to see when he’s wrong or too mentally ill to admit it. But we all have flaws, so I just deal.”
“Did what Ezra and I did break you two up?” I don’t want to be responsible for anyone else’s heartbreak.
“No, Kitten. It happened a few years before that, back when we were teenagers. I don’t want to explain it, I’m not ready. But we’re still committed to each other. I know you see me as a married man and a cheater. The only person I’m committed to is Ezra. I’ve never cheated on him. But Ezra has betrayed me many times, and I’ve retaliated when I shouldn’t. I am a lecher, and we all accept that. Emotions are different. Sex is sex, but I find the emotional attachments as the ultimate betrayal… and the lies.”
“You guys confuse me,” I mumble. But Cortez doesn’t confuse me. He is an open book. He does what he does and makes no apologies for it. He will tell you to your face if he plans on screwing you over. Cort’s bad behavior is severely honest, in a strange way.
“You’ll get used to us , eventually. After how you acted about Ezra’s impersonations, I thought you’d kill me when you remembered. I was worried about how you’d look at me when you saw me again. I feared you’d never speak to me again.”
“I don’t blame any of you. I was there, remember? I saw the look in your eyes. I rememb er how badly it affected you. I only blame Ray,” I say with conviction.
“Me too. I remember everything. It haunts me at night. Everything Ray made me do, haunts me. I can’t even look at Aaron without feeling sick,” Cort groans. I hold him as tightly as I can. Cort’s arms enclose me as he hides his face in my hair. I don’t know how long we stay like this,
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