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with an old wooden floor,
    but the place was hopping, and packed to the gill. There
    was a band playing toward the right with an area cleared
    for dancing. A nice looking guy waved us over and we sat
    at the table with him right in front of the guy singing
    something about a long black train.
    “This is Joel, Riley,” Lauren introduced the guy
    and then he kissed her.
    I wondered if this was the same guy that had spent
    the night with her the weekend before. Another guy joined
    us, and she introduced him as Levi. It was nice to put a
    face with the voice. We were both brought beers. I took
    my wallet from my purse and Levi put his hand over mine.
    “You are offending me, put that away,” he
    demanded.
    I jerked my hand away, not realizing that I did it
    with so much conviction.
    “Whoa,” he stated, putting both hands in the air.
    “Sorry,” I said and noticed the puzzled look on
    Lauren’s face over my reaction. “Thank you,” I said and
    turned my attention to the singer on stage.
    Can someone say…Idiot?
    I kept my attention on the stage, not knowing how
    to act around people. I felt like such an outsider, and
    didn’t know what I should or shouldn’t say. The two men
    and Lauren did all of the talking, and although they did try
    to include me, it was awkward for me. I was never
    allowed to speak when I went out with Drew. He was
    afraid that I would embarrass him or myself, so I played
    the pretty obedient wife and stood to his side. I noticeably
    shook my head, trying to rid the thoughts of my memories
    of being in the presence of Drew.
    Lauren stood and made me follow her to the
    bathroom. There was only one stall in the bathroom, and
    we waited outside the door for it to be unoccupied.
    “What is your deal, girlfriend?” Lauren asked.
    I feigned ignorance. “What do you mean?”
    “Haven’t you seen Levi staring at you? He likes
    you, and you haven’t even noticed. You’re off in some
    other time.”
    I groaned. I didn’t want Levi to look at me. I didn’t
    want Levi to like me. I didn’t want Levi to do anything. I
    wasn’t interested in Levi. “I just don’t think I like being
    here very much, Lauren. I have never been to a bar.”
    “You’re joking,” she implied as the door opened
    and she pulled me in with her.
    Lauren dropped her pants and immodestly used the
    toilet, holding herself up from sitting on the seat.
    “I think I am going to take off. I have to open the
    shop in the morning for the first time by myself.”
    “Ry, it’s only nine o’clock. You’re just going to go
    home and sit by yourself.”
    “I’m okay with that,” I assured her, trying not to
    look at her squatted on the toilet. I was okay with that. I
    was used to spending my time alone.
    “You can’t tell me that you don’t think Levi is
    cute.”
    “Lauren, please don’t try and fix me up with
    anyone. I don’t want anyone, okay?” I pleaded.
    “Okay. If you really want to go, I will get a ride
    with Joel.”
    “So, are you going to tell me about Joel? Was he
    your company last weekend?” I asked, not wanting to talk
    about me and my hang-ups with men at the time.
    “I guess we are monogamous. He works on the oil
    rigs all week and is only home on the weekends, best kind
    of man to have,” she added, teasing.
    I didn’t go back to the table with Lauren. She was
    giving me an easy out, and I was taking it. She gave me her
    keys, and I drove her jalopy of a car back to her house. I
    thought my ninety three Honda was bad, that thing was
    running on one cylinder.
    I didn’t leave the porch light on, not knowing that I
    was going to be out past dark. I walked across the road to
    my house after parking Lauren’s car, and my heart begun to
    beat in rapid thumps again . I hated being frightened all the
    time. There is nothing in there, Morgan, I said out loud and
    then shook my head at calling myself Morgan. I unlocked
    the door and pushed it, standing on the porch, peering in. I
    reached my arm