Read Tuppence to Tooley Street for Free Online

We’ve bin doin’ late shifts fer the past fortnight.’
    ‘Careful, Joe,’ Frank piped in. ‘Yer can get an ’eavy fine fer careless talk.’
    The men laughed and Frank shifted his weight on the pail. ‘You can laugh, but I bet that poor ole feller in the paper ain’t laughin’ after yesterday.’
    ‘What was that, then?’ Danny asked.
    ‘Well, ’e was goin’ on about all these taxes, an’ some ole biddy reported ’im. Next fing yer know ’e’s summonsed. The ole beak give ’im six weeks. I tell yer, yer gotta be careful what yer say these days.’
    ‘Yeah, it’s what they call emergency powers,’ Joe said, pouring himself another drink. ‘I ’eard a funny one last week. There’s this ole geezer who’s got a car. ’E’s a manager of a big business. Well ’e just so ’appens ter leave ’is motor car outside the Town ’All while ’e gets some permits renewed. Anyway, up comes a bluebottle an’ checks ’is car. ’E finds it ain’t immobilised, or so ’e finks, ’an ’e only goes an’ lets all the tyres down. Not bein’ satisfied wiv that, ’e goes an’ sticks a summons on the car. ’Course when the bloke comes an’ sees the copper doin’ ’is party piece, ’e nearly ’as a fit. What the copper didn’t know was that the car was immobilised. Instead of takin’ the rotor arm out, the driver took the wire off the coil or somefink. Anyway, it was just as good. This geezer’s fumin’.’E runs back in the Town ’All an’ phones up the ’ead one at the local police station. Accordin’ ter the feller what told me, this bloke an’ the ’ead copper were ole drinkin’ mates. The outcome was, there’s a copper pumpin’ up the tyres wiv a foot pump, while the ’ead one an’ this geezer are ’avin’ a right ole piss up in the boozer next door.’
    The laughter made Maggie put her head round the door. ‘What’s goin’ on out ’ere? Filfy jokes, I expect,’ she said.
    ‘No, I was jus’ tellin’ ’em about that car-owner who ’ad ’is tyres let down.’
    Maggie grinned. ‘Don’t laugh at ’is silly tales. Yer only encouragin’ ’im. I fink ’e makes them stories up, honest I do.’
    The men were still laughing as Maggie took the tea into the parlour.
     
    Dawson Street was dark, with the two lampposts out of service for the duration of the war. The black-out curtains were effective, and the distant stars offered scant relief from the darkness. The two corner shops at the Tooley Street end of the turning, the oil shop and the tatty little sweet shop, were shuttered and deathly quiet, and the only sign of life came from The Globe public house which stood on the corner of Clink Lane. Inside the pub a piano was knocking out one of the old favourites. The door of the jug-side opened and closed, and a woman came out. She walked quickly, a shawl draped around her hunched shoulders. She turned into Dawson Street and hurried to number 23. The woman was mumbling to herself as she fumbled the key into the lock and pushed open the door. As she let herself in the gas jet in the passage went out. Without taking her shawl off, she reached up and dropped a sixpence into the meter slot and turned the handle. The coin dropped and she chuckled.
    Back in The Globe Annie Barnes was worried. Annie lived in Dawson Street, and she knew Crazy Bella very well. Bella never ventured out at night, least of all to change coppers up for a sixpence. If Bella’s gas ran out she would sooner light candles. And something else worried Annie Barnes. Two weeks ago Bella had had one of her turns. She had stood in the middle of the street and threatened to blow the whole turning up sooner than let the Germans get it. Fortunately, old Doctor Kelly was on his rounds and he had managed to get Bella indoors and settled very quickly. No one had paid much attention to Bella’s threats except Annie. Her husband used to work for the gas board, and he had said how easy it was for a gas leak to prove