Danny McGregor. Youâre still facing a horizon full of crazy broads and dead people.
7
Forget the Car, Remember the Spare Tire
Well, itâs true Iâd left things badly in Flagstaff. But now I was in Florida and that was my new problem. I hadnât been back to Florida in four years. Not since Sophie stabbed me. And, on the whole, I hadnât left things much better in Florida than I had in Flagstaff.
The only person from home Iâd kept in touch with during my four years away was my brother Joe. I knew he wasnât around when the dog parked in Titusville, so I tried the next best thing: my sister Janie.
I dropped a quarter and a dime in a pay phone and dialed her number. She picked up on the third ring. I said, âSister Janie, this is Brother Danny.â Not that she was a nun and I was deacon or anything like that. I just got into the habit of calling her sister and myself brother because, if I didnât, Janie would always say, âDanny who?â And that kinda hurt my feelings.
âKnucklehead,â Janie said, because thatâs what she always called me. âSo you are alive.â
âAlive and stranded at the Greyhound station in Titusville.â
âAnd I suppose you want me to pick you up.â
âIf you donât mind.â
Janie sighed and let the line fill up with silence until I fully understood how much this was putting her out. Finally, she said, âIâll be there in a couple of hours.â
Which was Janieâs way of fucking with me. I knew this. Janieâs a big believer in justice or karma or whatever. If the universe didnât mete it out, sheâd do it herself. We both knew good and goddamn well that there was no reason for her to take a couple of hours to drive the twenty-five minutes to the bus station. It was seven in the morning. Unless things had changed drastically since last I heardâwhich they hadnâtâshe still didnât have a job to go to or kids to take care of. How busy could she be? So I bluffed. I said, âNo sweat. I can take a cab. Will you be around?â
âForget it,â she said. âIâm leaving right now.â
Janie saw me before I saw her. I was leaning up against the wall of the Greyhound station, reading the last chapter of an old crime novel. She pulled up in her big-ass Land Rover. She rolled down the window and hollered, âDaaaammmn.â Long and slow. And then: âWho ate my brother Danny?â
Because, yeah, Iâd gained about twenty or twenty-five pounds in the past four years. It was all that free beer at The Corner Bar. Plus, we served hot dogs there. Beer and hot dogs. Libra called it my Babe Ruth diet. It worked exactly how youâd expect it to.
I picked up my backpack and climbed into the Land Rover. âHey, Sister Janie,â I said.
Janie pulled out of the Greyhound station. âWhat happened to your Galaxie?â
âI left it in Flagstaff.â
âFunny.â Janie patted me on my belly. âYou forgot your car but you remembered the spare tire.â
âGo on,â I said. âPick on the fat kid.â Which was actually okay with me. Iâd rather Janie pick on me than talk about the real shit that we probably shouldâve been talking about.
Janie asked me how my car ended up in Flagstaff and I told her Iâd been living there for a couple of years. Janie said, âWell, it was nice of you to come back for your brother Joeâs big send off.â
âI didnât know until it was too late,â I said.
âSo you did know?â
I nodded.
Like I said, Iâd kept in touch with Brother Joe. He was kinda like a father to me. The long story short is this: my mother died two months after I was born. I donât know much about it. All Joe told me was that she died of some kind of âwomanâs cancer.â My dad died when I was four. Heâd always been a heavy drinker and big eater