Read Totlandia: The Onesies, Book 1 (Fall) for Free Online Page A

first time in the club’s history, every member of the committee came to the same conclusion, at the same time:
    They would vote for whomever they wanted, Bettina be damned .
    Everyone sat silently until Bettina, obviously still annoyed, muttered, “It’s time to take a vote.”
    Since its inception six years ago, the club enjoyed the enviable dilemma of too many candidates for so few spaces. Always one to let power go to her head, Bettina, who relished her founder status, took it upon herself to establish an intricate voting system that would resolve any annoying ties.
    Not that there should be any. As far as she was concerned, Bettina had clearly expressed her own desires.
    She led everyone out into the hallway where she handed each of them four safety pins. “We’ll walk back in, one by one, and drop a safety pin in the piggy bank of the candidates we feel are worthy of an open slot. Kimberley, you’ll go first.”
    Solemnly, the women nodded. Kimberley got up and walked back into the room, voted, and returned.
    Mallory did the same. Then Sally. Then Joanna.
    Bettina went last. When she was done, she called them back in. “Time to count!”
    It only took a minute.
    Each piggy bank contained the same number of safety pins: four.
    Stalemate.
    Bettina shook her head in amazement. “Ah. Well. Seems like we’re going to have to go again. This time, we’ll reverse the order. So let’s all rethink any weak links.”
    A second vote would break any stalemate.
    In theory, yes. In practice, not so much.
    Those who live in the picturesque and well-heeled neighborhood of San Francisco’s Pacific Heights have, on occasion, enjoyed an excursion or two to France’s renowned capital city. Having done so would have exposed them to the torrid history of that country’s revolution, which culminated with the severing of the head from the body of its regal, albeit tyrannical, king. Perhaps it was that spirit the members of the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club application committee channeled when, once again, they voted their consciences.
    And again.
    And yet again.
    Liberté, égalité, fraternité.   Democracy is a stubborn trait.
    Even Sally couldn’t be cowed. In fact, she had the audacity to mouth the unspeakable: “So, why not just let them all in?”
    Bettina shook her head emphatically. “No way! PHM&T playgroups have always been equally populated. This is why when someone drops out, we do an open call and vet the candidates the same way. And besides, it would make this year’s Onesies larger than any other playgroup, which sets a very bad precedent. It tells people we can’t make up our minds.”
    What she wasn’t saying—but they all knew—was that the key to the club’s success was its exclusivity. Ten toddlers per preschool year only. No excuses. No ifs, ands, or buts.
    “I’d like to make a suggestion,” The way Mallory’s eyes glowed left the others to wonder if chants and curses were involved. “Why not have the six applicants compete for the four slots? They’ll prove they deserve it by earning it.”
    “Brilliant!” Bettina exclaimed. “Just like that   Survivor   show, but the prize is so much greater.”
    Taken aback at the compliment, Mallory blushed. It was the first time any of the others had seen her face flushed with anything other than anger.
    “We’ll call it a probationary period,” Bettina continued, warming up. “The applicants will be judged on their social connections, their personal grace under pressure while hosting an event, and of course, their toddlers’ sociability. Then, at the end of the first ninety days, we’ll vote someone off. At the end of the next ninety days, another applicant bites the dust. The last four standing are the victors. And once again, we’ve got a perfect Onesies Group.” She clapped her hands with delight. “I’ll get out the invitations first thing tomorrow.”

Wednesday, 5 September
     
     
     
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