Read Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck for Free Online

strawberry syrup for the Cornmeal Waffles , or swirled into your Maple Berry Grits . It’s some choose-your-own-adventure-type shit.
    MAKES ABOUT 1 CUP
    ½ pound fresh or frozen blueberries
    2 tablespoons sugar
    1 tablespoon lemon juice
    1 tablespoon water
    1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    2 large pieces lemon zest*
    Throw everything together in a small saucepan over medium-low heat. It may not look like enough liquid, but once the berries start breaking down you’ll see what the fuck is up. Stir it around, smashing some berries with your spoon as you go. Bring the pot to a simmer and let it go for about 10 minutes so the berries really break down and the sauce thickens a bit. Take out the lemon zest, pour the sauce into a glass or bowl, and let that shit cool for 5 to 10 minutes. It will get thicker as it cools.
    *
Take your knife or sharp vegetable peeler and run it down the side of a lemon to cut off 2 pieces of the zest (the colored outer layer) about the length of a finger. Try not to get a bunch of that white shit, but don’t worry too much about it
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SOURDOUGH FRENCH TOAST
    Who the fuck wouldn’t like fried bread served with some maple syrup and fresh fruit? This shit sells itself.
    MAKES 6 PIECES OF FRENCH TOAST, BUT IT’S EASY AS HELL TO DOUBLE OR TRIPLE
    1½ teaspoons ground chia or flaxseeds
    2 tablespoons whole wheat flour*
    1 cup vanilla nondairy milk**
    ½ loaf day-old sourdough bread or whatever crusty bread you have lying around
    1½ tablespoons nutritional yeast
    Cooking spray
    1 In a pie pan or similar shallow dish, mix together the ground chia seeds and flour. Slowly whisk in the milk so that shit doesn’t get all lumpy. SLOWLY, MOTHERFUCKER. Now let that sit for 15 minutes. Make your sleepy ass some coffee and then cut the bread up into 1-inch-thick slices while you wait.
    2 Whisk the batter after about 15 minutes and then slowly add the nutritional yeast and stir. Heat a griddle or heavy pan over a medium heat and coat with a little cooking spray so these bitches don’t stick. Soak your bread slices in the batter for a couple seconds on each side and then throw them right on the griddle. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes a side, or until they look golden and tasty as fuck all over.
    *
But for real, you can use whatever flour you use to bake—brown rice, all-purpose . . . it won’t make a difference
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    **
Almond milk is always advised but use what you got
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MAPLE BERRY GRITS
    Grits don’t get enough love at breakfast. They are creamy, slightly sweet, and full of fiber. you’ve had enough oatmeal; it’s about damn time to try something new.
    MAKES ENOUGH FOR 4, OR A SOLID SOLO BREAKFAST FOR 4 DAYS
    2 cups water
    2 cups almond or other nondairy milk
    1 cup stoneground grits*
    ¼ to ½ teaspoon salt
    1 to 2 teaspoons maple syrup or your favorite liquid sweetener
    Your favorite jam
    Fresh berries
    1 Grab a medium saucepan and bring the water and milk to a boil over medium heat. Gently whisk in the grits and ¼ teaspoon salt. Don’t just dump it all in and spill water everywhere—show some fucking care, man. Bring it all to a boil and then reduce that heat to low. Cover the pot and then let that deliciousness simmer for 20 minutes. Stir the fucker on occasion while you sip your coffee and troll the Internet, ’cause you don’t want anything sticking to the bottom.
    2 When the grits have absorbed most of the liquid and are tender, turn that flame off and add 1 teaspoon of maple syrup. Taste and add the rest of the salt and syrup if you think it needs it. That’s on you. Serve with a small scoop of your favorite jam on top and some fresh berries so it looks all classy as fuck.
    *
Not that instant bullshit
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BAKED OKRA AND POTATO HASH
    It’s a damn shame if you haven’t tried okra and potatoes together for breakfast. Hurry the fuck up and right this wrong.
    MAKES ENOUGH FOR 2 TO 3 AS A SIDE
    Cooking spray
    1 pound yellow or red potatoes
    ½ yellow onion
    1 pound okra
    2 teaspoons olive oil
    2 tablespoons