Read Three Original Ladies 02 - Lord Trowbridge’s Angel for Free Online

sister bit the inside of her cheek, a habit while thinking. After a moment, she said, “I have always thought that Frank was a bit divorced from his feelings. He hides behind those beautiful manners of his. I do not know if even he knows what his feelings are. He is so … dispassionate. That is why I think his bad humor over the mention of Lord Oaksey is meaningful.”
    Sophie thought about this. “I bury my feelings, as well.”
    “You, me, Elise, we all do. And beware your heart, Sophie. Elise once told me, and I have found it to be true in my case, that we are all vulnerable because of our lack of motherly affection. It is as though we have this yawning hole inside. We bury our feelings to protect ourselves from snatching at fulfillment and being hurt again. That said, Buck thinks you could be the making of Frank.”
    Sophie laughed. “Oh, Fan, you must not count on that. We are not even true friends yet.”
    “And how do you measure true friendship?”
    “My standards are a bit high. But a friend is someone you can trust without reservations. With your faults, your secrets, even your life.”
    “That is a tall order, Soph.”
    “That is how I feel about you and Elise. And about Buck and Peter, Anna and Melissa.”
    “I do not think that trust can be had for a man outside of family or marriage, my love.”
    “Why not?”
    “I do not think you should trust a single man that much. Only when he has married you, and oftentimes in today’s society, not even then.”
    “That is grim,” Sophie paused, thinking. “But it is true that I have a difficult time with trust. When did you begin to trust Buck?”
    “After we were engaged. He revealed his deepest secrets. I vowed never to share them with another person. And I knew that he trusted me completely. That made it easier for me to trust him in return.”
    Fan had finished nursing. They discussed her plans to take Sophie to the modiste the next day.
    “Ah, I see it now, Fan. You are not contented with the roles of wife and mother. You have a sudden desire to take on a new role, that of matchmaker! Spare me, please.”
    “No, I will not spare you a new wardrobe. You cannot continue to wear mine. And you are so very beautiful, my dear. We cannot have you hiding your light under a bushel.”
    “Well, it will have to be after I practice. My music comes first. It is what gives me what courage and wit I have.”
    “I understand that, Soph. I truly do.”
    ~ ~*
    Sophie dressed carefully for the evening ahead. Fortunately, she had commissioned a black evening gown from Elise’s London modiste by post when she was still in Derbyshire. It was black silk chiffon over black satin, high-waisted, with a square neckline and long sleeves that were puffed at the shoulder to give her ease of movement. The neckline, hem, and high waist were all trimmed with narrow black velvet ribbon. Black was de rigeur for performances, but Sophie was aware that it looked a bit stark on her. Taking a swath of black velvet ribbon, she arranged it tightly around her neck and fastened it in front with an antique cameo broach that Elise had given her when she had worn this dress for the first time at Ruisdell Palace. She had said that Sophie had a face fit for a cameo herself. Remembering that, Sophie smiled through her nerves.
    What in the world had possessed her to invite the accomplished Carstairs and Gorgeous Frank to hear her play? Now she realized she would have infinitely preferred an anonymous audience for her first real performance. Flexing her fingers, she stood at her bedroom window, looking out at the twilight. What did she expect to happen tonight? Did she think she would suddenly forget everything she had learned? All the thousands of hours she had spent in practice? There must be a technique for distancing herself from the audience, but she could not think of what it could be other than losing oneself in the piece. That is what she must do. She would excuse herself from the table