with. Every fleck in the turquoise ring of the guy to the right of me. The long dark hair and red-striped dress of a girl who swishes past. Every strand of neon green grass. And I do mean every strand. I can see the water flowing through them. The molecules of chlorophyll. Hey, look, thereâs Chemistry again. Or is that Biology?
Biology. I can see it. I can see life itself and a strand of Amandaâs saliva as she breathes it in and out against my lips. With every intake of oxygen, the strand is almost broken, only to be resurrected.
Resurrection. Like Easter. Itâs like Easter drool. Thatâs what it is.
Which makes me think of Easter eggs.
Which makes me immediately pick out every pastel color I see: so many flowers on dresses to choose from. Some are peachy and some are minty.
Itâs been way too long since Iâve had Doublemint gum.
Maybe I can use some now.
Maybe Amanda can use some now. Itâs actually hard to tell which of us, if either, is experiencing bad-breath issues.
Though if we are sharing the same breath, does it matter?
How many breaths do we each have left anyway?
From one of my many eyes, I see a boy who canât be much older than twelve. Heâs with two people who look ancient, at least in their midthirties. The boy says the word âDad.â
Dad. Dad. Dad. Dadadadadadadadadadadadadad.
What a strange word. And kinda funny. But also sorta sad. But also sounding like a drum.
God, I remember being twelve. And saying âDad.â That was ages ago. So long ago and far away. Itâs like I was another person, and that other person is still twelve and living in 1963. And this person is in 1969. What will happen if somehow black holes collide and the old me and new me meet? Will that cause black holes to collide?
Wait, no. I said black holes collided to make the first thing happen. So that canât happen again as a cause if itâs the effect.
Oh! Remember when I was the master of time? Wait, maybe I still am. I can do that again.
Canât I?
Oh my God. Iâve lost it. Iâve lost my superpower.
Iâve lost my youth.
âAck! Michael!â I hear Amanda scream from above me. âWhat are you doing?â
The chlorophyll has the answers. I know it. It has all the molecules. Itâs what we are all standing on, united.
It has to be in there. My youth.
If I can just dig deep enough into this soil, I will find it. I will triumph over this temporary setback.
Someone is screaming. He sounds crazed.
Oh, wait. I think thatâs me. The me from two seconds ago. The me of three seconds later tells me to stop because screaming is loud and unnecessary.
But those three seconds are taking forever.
I will never stop screaming. I will never find my youth.
I will never get to the bottom of this soil.
From far above the hole I dig, I hear Evanâs voice. âOh, man, I think we have to take him to the nurse.â
Robâs words echo against the millions of grass strands that are closing in around me. âHeâs killing my trip, man.â
chapter 13
Cora
âSo a little birdie told me she saw you walking with Ned earlier,â Anna says to me as she dispenses two aspirin to a girl complaining of cramps.
âA little birdie? Who?â
âMaria,â Anna says, indicating one of the other nurses bustling away at the back of the tent.
âSeriously? There are, like, a hundred thousand people here!â How on earth could Maria pick me out? Stupid small towns.
âSo . . . is it true? Are you back together?â Thereâs a twinkle in Annaâs eye. A part of me has always felt like it wasnât just my heart that got broken when Ned and I split. I feel like Iâve let down my parents, Anna, and anyone else whoâs ever had a soft spot for Ned. So basically everyone. Except for maybe Wes.
I sigh. âNo. Heâs just being his usual helpful self. Helping my parents at the farm. Helping me walk