Read Threads for Free Online Page A

producers could have got away with a tired old formula blockbuster, but actually it's really funny and so exciting Edie nearly chokes on her popcorn at one point. No wonder the audiences are pouring in. Hollywood's Hottest Couple give the best performances we've seen them do, and Joe Yule is POSITIVELY EDIBLE.
    The only dodgy bits are when he's with his rather wooden sister. Poor Jenny. You can see the sheer terror in her eyes whenever the camera is on her. Even Joe'sEnglish accent seems better than hers after a while, and he's from Nevada.
    And, golly, those eyes of his. I have a feeling I may need to see the film again soon, to appreciate the full depth of his performance – obviously.
    Over the last few days, the glossy celebrity magazines have been hitting the shelves with full-page spreads about the London premiere. I buy every one. They all agree that the movie is good, but their real focus is on the red carpet and what everyone is wearing. HHC, in their matching Armani, are sparkling. Every possible opportunity is taken to ogle them from every angle. Joe Yule, playing it cool in his Zac Posen jacket and tie to match his eyes, is perfect in every way.
    Jenny features heavily too. Most magazines have found space for an article about her father, the multiple wives and news of Jenny's struggle with spots and boobs. Each one is illustrated with the cherry tomato. Somehow the pictures and the articles seem to suit each other perfectly, as if she had deliberately chosen the dress to highlight the plight of the chubby, miserable teenager. She makes it into the ‘hit and miss’ pages too, where she is an outright car crash in every one. And this week she's up against a pregnant glamour girl in head-to-toe leopard skin and a pop star in a yellow Lurex micro-mini and Uggs.
    It's different when it's someone you know on those pages. I feel so guilty buying the magazines, but sadly itdoesn't stop me. The images seem to be everywhere. Even Mum, who normally sticks to Vogue and Art Monthly , notices. She doesn't usually pay much attention to my friends, but she likes Jenny. She saw her in Annie at school and thought she was incredible.
    ‘What that girl needs,’ Mum says, ‘is corsetry.’
    What that girl needs, I think, is therapy.
    The New York premiere of Kid Code is shown live on an entertainment channel on cable. I have to stay up late to catch it, accompanied by Harry (still no Zoe), Phish Food ice cream and Maryland cookies. (It drives Jenny potty that I can eat anything and always remain extremely skinny, but my metabolism is the one useful thing I've inherited from Mum.)
    The presenters are already raving about the movie, which promises to be as popular in New York as in London. Hollywood's Hottest Couple are looking chic in yet more Armani. They must have some kind of deal going. Joe Yule is achingly gorgeous, as ever. He's got Sexy Girlfriend with him this time and she's clinging to him like a limpet, wearing the smallest micro-dress I've ever seen to show off her perfect legs.
    Jenny's legs, on the other hand, are nowhere to be seen. Pablo Dodo has decided that this time she is best served by a bubblegum pink maxi-dress that skims her ankles after bulging around her boobs and hips. This is accessorised with flat sandals and a floaty boa thing thatshe's hugging to herself like a life jacket.
    Joe Yule is ignoring her again. Jenny's father, not surprisingly, is banned. HHC are so busy being mobbed by journalists and photographers they don't have time for her. She stands there alone, clutching her boa thing in the flashing lights, panicking.
    I glance across at Harry, who's watching her through his fingers, as if he can hardly bear to look.
    No need to ask him what he thinks. And I decide not to share my thoughts, either. Because she reminds me of nothing so much as a giant, pink, miserable condom. In a boa.

‘ D  on't ever tell her I told you that,’ I say menacingly. ‘I won't, promise!’ Edie splutters. Her