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his voice was deep and down deep and I could almost feel it deep.
    Here’s next: Please?! Please . . .
    And it was almost a whimper and I wanted him to stop but I couldn’t do anything.
    I just stood outside the window and heard it. I mean I couldn’t do anything because I wasn’t even in the house and I didn’t know where they were and I had to go.
    Then: Scream scream scream. Pound pound pound.
    That’s when I didn’t know what to do so I left and I forgot my pillowcase because I left so fast.
    I’m sorry, Zyler.
    I’m so sorry. For everything.
    I didn’t go all the way home after that.
    I just went to this secret spot me and Zyler have that’s under our huge pine tree by the chain-link fence. You can’t see in from the outside, but if you go under the branches there’s a cave sort of before the branches get thick.
    I went to our spot and tried to breathe.
    I couldn’t.
    And I thought maybe I should go back to Zyler’s, but I knew I couldn’t go back but I should go back, but then Zyler would be mad but then I left my pillowcase and he’d know I was there and he’d want to know why I was there and what I saw and I didn’t want him to know.
    I didn’t see anything.
    I wasn’t really there.
    And so then I heard the sirens because Mom and Dad were looking for me and they couldn’t find me.
    I came out when the cops came and Mom grabbed me and was crying: Don’t ever do that again. Don’t ever do that again.
    Mom and Dad were both hugging me and hugging me.
    But then Mom grounded me again even though she already had and I felt so dumb that the cops were there.
    Them: We are so sorry, Officer.
    Me:
    Officer: It’s all right. Slow night anyway. You keep out of trouble, young man. Quit making your parents worry.
    Me:
    Mom: Say thank you to the officers, Logan.
    Me: Thank you.
    And that was it.
    They both wanted to know everything. Where had I been. What was going on.
    I told them I was in the back the whole time.
    Dad: Didn’t you hear us yelling?
    Me: No.
    Mom: Are you sure?
    Me: NO.
    They looked at each other and then told me to go to bed.
    I didn’t say anything to Zyler either.
    And he didn’t ask, which I was glad about.
    Except he said: You left your pillowcase in my room.
    Me: Yeah.
    Zyler: Stuff fell out and I’m borrowing your Trekkie T-shirt.
    Me: Okay.
    Us:
    And that was it.

    I liked Cami before Zyler did.
    I know that because the day Zyler first saw her, he said: Wow, who is that?
    And I said: Cami Wakefield.
    I knew Cami because her mom and my mom used to do yoga with DVDs together.
    Always at our house because at Cami’s house there was no TV, and she didn’t even care, she said.
    It was when I was a kid and it wasn’t for so long because then Mom decided yoga was bad for her back and so she started doing Tai Chi, but I guess Cami’s mom didn’t want to do Tai Chi.
    So whenever Cami’s mom came over so did Cami.
    She was an only child and that made it so she never had to be in charge of anyone.
    I didn’t play with girls or anything but I had to with Cami, Mom said.
    But it was okay because Cami wasn’t like other girls.
    She was different.
    Like she hated flies so bad she would make big huge plans on how to kill them complete with attack positions and everything.
    And she had this fire red hair that was never just right but always sticking out around and around. Sometimes she’d make me do beauty parlor when she came over, and I felt so dumb but it was funny with the hair spray and all over and then she did mine with food coloring once to see if it would dye and I got in big trouble.
    She wore different color kinds of socks every day and the main thing was her eyes: Sort of too far apart but bright blue.
    I’d never seen eyes so blue before.
    And then Zyler said: Wow, who is that?
    And I said: Cami Wakefield.
    And then, instead of just not doing anything like me (I hadn’t talked to Cami since the yoga stopped), Zyler yelled: Hey, redhead, what’s your name?
    That was near