Alicia, but she never dared ask what it might really mean.
As the candle sputtered out, Alicia drifted off to sleep. The thinking tiara slipped off her head and onto the pillow. A chill filled the air and Alicia shivered, pulling her velvet covers up under her chin.
Something cold brushed her cheek just as she fell asleep. And once again a voice whispered, “Young princess, I am old. Please help—not all my tale is told.”
But once again, by morning she had forgotten the words, forgotten even the whisper in her dreams. Yet still there was that strange sensation that someone, something had passed through her chamber as she slept.
Chapter 7
AN AMPLE LADY
The next morning the three princesses of the South Turret emerged from their bedchambers in their best winter clothes. They were struck by an amazing sight.
“ Munk doctum! ” gasped Gundersnap in Slobo.
“Holy halibut!” whispered Kristen.
“Lady von Schleppenspiel!” Alicia exclaimed.
The needlepoint counselor sat in a very large rocking chair, dozing. The girls’ exclamations had not sent even the faintest ripple across the placid lake of sleep in which she seemed to be completely immersed.
Suddenly a strange noise rumbled up from Lady Merry’s massive body. The silk that spanned her stomach gave a lurch. Her mouth opened and a very large burp came out, causing a chandelier overhead to shudder.
The lady’s eyes flew open. “Oh, my goodness! My goodness! You’re here! Oh, miladies, shame on me for drifting off like this. And here I am awakened by my own digestive music. I’m afraid I sounded very much like the tuba in a marching band—my gut, that is!” She giggled. It was a teeny-weeny little giggle, which seemed odd to Alicia, coming from an enormous woman who had just burped loud enough to shake a chandelier.
Princess Gundersnap stepped forward. “Vye are you here, please?”
“Oh, my goodness.” The lady began chuckling. “They didn’t tell you? I am not just your needlepoint counselor; I am your lady-in-waiting. I know von Schleppenspiel is quite a mouthful. My full name is Lady Merry von Schlepp…etcetera, etcetera.” She waved her hand dismissively. “You know the rest. You may call me simply Lady Merry, as in Merry Christmas. Princesses are permitted to call their ladies-in-waiting by their first names as long as that name is preceded by the correct title. Rule two, section four, article five of the rule book.”
“B-b-but,” stammered Alicia. “I thought we were each to have our own lady-in-waiting.”
“Oh, there’s a shortage this year, and I do believe I am ample enough for three. One of me equals three ladies-in-waiting. Wouldn’t you agree?” Lady Merry asked. And now she started laughing quite hard again.
The three princesses stood transfixed as the guffaws set the eight chins rippling. The ripples traveled through Lady Merry’s body until her midsection jiggled. Her tiny feet were caught in an antic dance of their own as she kicked them out from the hem of her gown. She reminded the princesses of a ship caught in the midst of a violent squall. These were no longer simply ripples. These were waves, and the princesses watched closely to see if the vessel itself would hold. Would the seams split? Alicia wondered.
Finally the laughter subsided, and Lady Merry whisked a dainty hanky from somewhere deep in the bodice of her dress and wiped the tears from her eyes.
“Yes, miladies, I must tell you that I do prefer the word ‘ample’ to ‘fat.’ ‘Fat’ just sounds too dense to me. Ample, amplitude—a lady of great amplitude—yes, rather nice, I think. Or a lady of ample proportions suggests that I am much more than just fat—I have room for many things. By that I mean more things than just the common ones such as etiquette lessons. That is the standard stuff we ladies-in-waiting are expected to help you learn.” She daintily put the hanky to her mouth and burped again, though not as loudly as she had