Read Things I’ll Never Say for Free Online

start giggling, and a giant burn mark to mar the cement wall.
    â€œYou’re right,” Zachary admits. “I am a total hypocrite. Sorry I yelled at you.”
    I accept his apology, but I’m the worst earthbound angel ever. He’s bailed me out twice. It’s time to rededicate myself to the mission. I’m an angel of the order guardian. I know better what my teenage assignment needs than she knows herself. My mission is to protect her, and that means total focus. From this moment on, I am the job.
    Jamal will end up somebody else’s boyfriend.
    It’s another Friday night at Sanguini’s. The news story on what was described as “vandalism” here amounted to little more than a footnote in the local media.
    A slender hand lands on my shoulder. Quincie says, “I’ll babysit your tables while you go dance.”
    â€œWhat’re you talking about? Table nine ordered the
linguini l’autumno
, and I forgot to tell Chef Nora there’s a gluten issue —”
    â€œI’ll tell Nora.” Flexing her preternatural strength, Quincie turns my body so I can see Jamal waiting on the dance floor, his hands clasped in front of him, holding a single long-stemmed red rose. He’s wearing my faux black wings from Valentine’s Day weekend. On cue, Sinatra begins singing “Cheek to Cheek” over the speakers. It’s sweet, romantic, and pointless.
    â€œLook, I tried, remember? Jamal can never know the real me, and besides, my duty is —”
    â€œBlah, blah, blah,” Quincie interrupts. “Depression doesn’t work for you, Joshua. You’re the most upbeat, excitable being I’ve ever met. You’ll get the hang of this whole secret-identity thing.”
    â€œBut —”
    â€œYou can’t spend eternity beating yourself up because one demon sneaked by,” she insists. “Sneakiness is a demon thing, I grant you. But we can outsmart them. For starters, whether you’re in angel mode or waiter-gossip mode, all visible horns and tails must be faux only. Unless we’re talking about a wereram or something. If necessary, we’ll check. There’s one problem solved.”
    â€œBut —”
    â€œBesides, it’s not like the archangel Michael never bailed out Zachary back in his GA days.”
    â€œBut —”
    â€œI’m right here, the dance floor is right there, and, so help me, Joshua, the real you shines through in everything you do. Just because you haven’t admitted it in so many words and don’t glow right now doesn’t mean that Jamal can’t, on some level, sense you’re an angel. He clearly wants you. Or at least he wants to find out if he wants you.”
    I step forward, hesitate. “He doesn’t believe in heaven. He faults faith for —”
    â€œAn angel may encourage, may inspire, may nudge, but each soul ultimately chooses its own fate. Choose.” Quincie grins up at me. “It’s a
dance
, Joshua. Not a mission from on high. Get out there.”
    Who knows how things will turn out with Jamal, but at least I’ve got a new best friend in Quincie. I’ve witnessed the blessings of romantic love, but I know it’s friendships that sustain us when all else fails. I give her forehead a quick kiss. “Sometimes I wonder who’s watching over who.”
    â€œWhom,” she replies, swatting my booty.
    At least her English grade is secure. “You bucking for wings of your own?”
    â€œCall me Cupid,” she replies.

Mr. P. was new that year. He was short, almost chubby, with a young, pretty face. He walked back and forth across the front of the classroom with his hands in the pockets of his khakis when he talked to us about the Civil War, and he had this adorable way of brushing his hair out of his eyes. We senior girls thought he was cute. We giggled when he walked by in our private-school hallways, and he looked at