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love a man like him. In reality, he
was a disgusting slob who’d used the end of structured civilization
to rise to heights he never would have in the old world, to have
the sort of women who never would have given him a second glance.
It was a harsh assessment, but when a man like Mason forced a woman
like me into a life such as this, I couldn’t help but be bitter and
hateful.
    Guiding me slowly from the kitchen, Mason
began pulling me up the stairs. I tried to move away, insisting
that I wasn’t in the mood for sex, but as he continued pulling me,
ignoring my protests, I gave up struggling. When we arrived at our
bedroom, instead of following me inside, he shoved me into the
dimly lit room and quickly pulled the door shut. The following
sound of a click, signaling a key turning the lock, startled
me.
    “Mason?”
    “ It’s better this way,” he said through the
door, his tone hopeful. “You can remember her happy.”
    My eyes rounded, wide with horror. “Mason,
let me out!” I yelled, reaching for the handle. Desperately, I
pulled on it, shaking it violently, but it didn’t budge.
    “Please, don’t do this,” I pleaded as I
banged on the wood with my fists. “Please, Mason, you can’t do
this!”
    “I’m sorry, Evelyn. I’m protecting you. I’ll
let you out in the morning…when it’s done.”
    Over the sound of my pounding heart, I heard
footsteps as he descended the stairs. Sheer panic gripped hold of
me and I screamed for him to come back, to let me out. But he
didn’t return. Of course he didn’t.
    Running to the window, I attempted to push
it open, but just like the damn door, it wouldn’t budge. From my
upstairs view, I could plainly see Mason bumbling down the walkway
in front of our house. Looking up in my direction, his eyes found
mine, his bulbous face, always covered in a thin sheen of sweat,
was glinting from the reflection of the setting sun. His eyes were
wide in apology, which was merely an act, because I knew he didn’t
truly care. The only thing Mason cared about was keeping me
here—keeping me for himself. Looking away from me, he continued
down the path.
    I started pounding on the window, screaming
at him, calling him all the names that I’d wanted to for the past
three years, but never did. The hate-filled words that I’d kept
buried inside me to keep both Leisel and myself safe, all came
flying free from their cage. I continued pounding on the window,
half expecting it to break, but it never did. Maybe I was too
scared to hit it hard enough, though I wanted to. I wanted to smash
it, to cause shards of glass to rain down on Mason’s head, slicing
him open, to hurt him the way he was hurting me.
    “I hate you!” I screamed.
    Screeching in frustration, I sank to the
floor, my screams dissolving into self-pitying sobs. I couldn’t
help Leisel now. She was going to die, and I couldn’t help her. I
couldn’t even be there for her at the end. As I pulled my knees up
to my chest, my tears fell faster.
    What would I do without her? Leisel had
always told me that I was the strong one, but I knew now it wasn’t
true. Not when it was her I needed to keep me strong.
    • • •
    The moon was full, sitting heavy and pregnant in the
sky when I heard Mason’s return. I strained my ears, listening
intently for his footsteps on the stairs, but he didn’t immediately
come for me. I could hear him stumbling around the house, no doubt
having drunk too much, probably in an effort to wash away his
guilt. Or perhaps he’d forgotten where he’d put me. Maybe he was so
drunk that he’d even forgotten what had transpired earlier.
    It had happened before, him locking me up for
being what he’d considered insolent. There were times that he’d
forgotten entirely and let me out without another word about it,
looking at me curiously in the dark while he attempted to remember
what I’d done to deserve such punishment. Although this—Leisel’s
execution—was hardly something I would