cannon. There was only the inhale-glow from the guyâs ciggy that lit up his deep eye-sockets.
He whispered, âKnow why weâre chopping down the forest? Eldest son from the Big House at the bottom of the glen shot himself up here last year, blew his brains all over a rowan tree. The old lady up at the house looks out onto this forest from her bedroom. She shifted rooms in the big house but whenever she saw the wood it reminded, so . . . weâre to chop the whole thing down and burn every trace of it. Iâm up here with Charlie. Some of the slopes are so steep you can never dream of getting a tractor up, so we haul all the lot out with Charlie and his spinnel. Iâm normally planting the trees so it feels bad, but a lux penny is a lux penny.â
âLook, Iâm meaning nothing by it, but can I lean my head against your shoulder?â I says.
He goes, âCourse. Aye, have a wee snooze.â
In the dark I went, âDid Brotherhood really kill girls?â
Speaking, soâs his shoulder trembled nicely against my cheek he says, whisperly, âItâs so warming that you trust me here: a girl in woods at darkness looking as divine as you . . .â
I bumped my ear on his shoulder in the laugh . . . âDivine!!!â
â. . . Come striding out of the dark East with some water stars over your shoulder. I mean Iâm not after you or anything.â He breathed in all excited and says, âDo you believe in poetic moments? I believe thatâs what happiness is: trying to live a succession of poetic moments, not stuck in the Portakabins with that lot but out, under the last trees, meeting a tall crazy girl . . . watching the sunrise in a strangerâs arms.â
âHey. Iâm not crazy.â
â. . . âMagine a life that is one long poem . . .â
â. . . Iâm moving off before light but can I put my arm round here. I just need to cuddle . . .â The shoulder shook.
âIâm married and I love her. Is this being bad?â
I goes, âThis is not being bad; I bet sheâs dead lovely.â
âWhen she smiles she frowns at the same time. She used to work up at the old tracking station where the Observatory was. It was summer, she undressed so slowly outside it was dark before she drew her tights down and with a match she showed me the faint mole on her thigh that corresponded exactly with the shape of the star cluster sheâd been studying. Her mobile phone went off but she left it in the grass somewhere and I knew as we kissed she was really trying to remember my name from back at the party, saying she didnât care where her life went. When she lay back she lost who I was forever, mumbling the names of the blue stars above us.â
After a good bit I says, âIt must be so lovely to be like that.â
âHo, hereâs me and a girl Iâve knowd a half-hour with her arm round me . . .â
âIt doesnt count,â I says, âBelieve me, mister, I want you to love her
more
. I want you to say hello. Iâve kicked myself free the earth long ago . . . I donât count.â
âAye? A blow-jobbingâs out the question then?â
We both laughed and a bird crashed free of the drooping umbrellas of pine branches, shaking so much waterdrops out, the canopy of twigs swung back up all the higher.
Out of the nightness he says, âItâll happen to you too.â
âWhat?â
âThe Love.â
âNah. There was someone once but, never the right person since . . .â
âItâll come, itâll come like a disease.â
âNo.â
There was long long quietness.
âLook at the stars; this world so big and just us here,â he went.
I goes, âBrotherhood?â
âThe Erin sisters it was, from over at The Summer Colony