and turned to him. ‘I enjoyed tonight, Matt. Thank you. Next time, it’s my treat.’
‘I’ll hold you to that,’ he said, aiming for lightness and hoping he had succeeded. The thought of them spending another evening together was so enticing that he had a sudden urge to grin but managed to restrain himself. There was no point scaring her into thinking she’d had dinner with a lunatic!
‘You do that.’
Before he could say anything else she reached up on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. Her lips were cold from the wind and Matt sucked in his breath when he felt them touch his skin. It was just one of those kisses that people exchanged all the time, he told himself firmly, a social nicety, nothing to get steamed up about, but he wasn’t convinced. He could call it whatever he liked, but it was still a kiss and his body appreciated that fact even if his brain insisted on trying to rationalise it.
Desire flooded through him, bringing about a very predictable response, or at least one that would have been predictable several years ago. The fact that it hadn’t happened in so long he could barely remember the last time made his heart almost stutter to a stop.
Rachel gave him a quick smile as she stepped back. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Take care going home. There could be ice on the roads.’
‘I…um…you too,’ Matt said numbly as she got into her car and closed the door. He waited while she backed out of the parking space, even managed to wave as she drove away, but every action was an effort when his body was clamouring for something it hadn’t experienced since Claire had died.
He walked back to his car and got in then sat there, letting the feelings pour through him. This had gone beyond what he had felt at the weekend, way beyond that first tentative awakening of desire. What he was feeling now was something more earthy, more powerful, more urgent. He wanted to make love to Rachel and enjoy every inch of her delectable body, and then enjoy her enjoying him . Maybe it was the passage of time but he couldn’t remember feeling this need so intensely before, not even for Claire.
The thought shook him to the core. His love for Claire had been the mainstay of his life, the one thing that had never been in doubt. Surely he wasn’t doubting it now just because he wanted to have sex with another woman?
Matt knew he needed to work out what was going on and that he couldn’t do it there. He needed to go home and think about it, calmly, rationally. He drove himself home, keeping his speed well below the limit because he was aware that his reactions weren’t as sharp as they should have been. As soon as he got in, he made himself a cup of coffee and took it into the sitting room. There in the room he and Claire had spent so many happy evenings, he let himself remember their life together, all the good times they’d had, the fun, the laughter, the love.
Tears welled to his eyes but he didn’t try to stop them falling. He had spent years being strong for his daughter’s sake and it was time he allowed himself an outlet for his emotions. He had loved Claire so much, would have loved her for ever more, but she had died and left him on his own. He needed to cry for the woman he had lost and he also needed to cry for himself too.
Rachel drove home carefully, heeding her own advice. Although the main roads had been gritted, she could see a shimmer of frost on the tarmac when she turned into the lane leading to her cottage. She negotiated the bends with extra care and drew up with a sigh of relief. Thank heavens that was over.
Stepping out of the car, she went to hurry up the path and shrieked in alarm when her feet suddenly skidded from under her. She landed with an almighty thud, wincing as her right knee took the brunt of her fall. Getting to her feet again wasn’t easy when her knee felt as though it was on fire but she needed to get inside. She certainly couldn’t spend the night outdoors in