Read The Whole Business with Kiffo and the Pitbull for Free Online

an education]. Take thirty kids who are determined to destroy a teacher and there’s not much anyone can do.
    But the Pitbull? I wasn’t sure that any of the normal tactics would work with her. You need a weakness to work on and as far as I could tell, the Pitbull had armour-plated skin and the sensitivity of a paving slab. I guess if we could have worked together then we might have stood a chance. After all, the same rules of conduct applied to her as they did to other teachers. The trouble was that most of the kids in the class were terrified of her. Well, we all were, to be honest with you. And that meant it was going to be difficult to present a united front when everyone was worried about his or her own personal safety. There had to be a way though. But at the end of two hours, I was no closer to finding it.
    The Pitbull gathered her papers together and glanced at the clock.
    â€˜You can go,’ she said.
    Kiffo and I stretched aching limbs and got painfully to our feet.
    â€˜Miss Harrison. I would like a word with you, if I may.’
    Believe me, I felt that two hours was sufficient punishment, but what can you do? I sat down again as Kiffo opened the door and left. The Pitbull finished shuffling her exercise books and then came and sat opposite me. Her expression was what is known as ‘ruminative’.
    â€˜Calma,’ she said, not unkindly. ‘I’ve been reading the English work in your Year 10 folio. It is . . . well, how can one express it? Brilliant, I think, is not an over-exaggeration. I’ve been teaching for longer than I care to remember and very seldom, if ever, have I come across a talent like yours.’ She fell silent and I squirmed.
    â€˜Thanks,’ I said, rather inadequately. Let’s be honest. It’s difficult to be churlish when someone says you’re brilliant.
    â€˜Do you think you have a gift for English?’ she continued.
    â€˜Well, I try not to fly in the face of public opinion,’ I replied, a little more adequately.
    The Pitbull frowned.
    â€˜No. There’s no question about your talent,’ she continued. ‘It’s your attitude that worries me.’
    I squirmed again. It was one of those days when my squirmy muscles were going to get a good work-out. Attitude! What is it with teachers and attitude? My writing is good. Great! What has attitude got to do with the price of fish if the end product is good? I can just see some Elizabethan schoolteacher wagging his finger at Shakespeare. ‘Sure, matey, I concede that Hamlet is the greatest piece of literature ever written. But it’s your attitude that worries me!’ I kept silent, though. When it comes to teachers and the subject of attitude, they’re like a road train with brake failure on a long slope. There’s nothing you can do until they stop rolling.
    â€˜And that attitude is not helped by the company you keep. Now, I don’t want to tell you what friends you should have,’ she said in exactly the manner of someone who is telling you what friends you should have, ‘but I have had some dealings with Mr Kiffing’s family and I know what I am talking about. It would be in your best interests to find . . . more suitable companions. Friends who challenge you intellectually and who are not so – how can one put it? – antisocial in their personal lives.’
    I bristled. What with the squirming and the bristling, it was quite an energetic end to my detention.
    â€˜Thank you, Miss. I’ll keep that in mind.’
    â€˜I hope you do, Calma. I really hope you do.’
    â€˜Oh trust me. I won’t forget. I can promise you that.’
    I got to the door and was halfway through it before she spoke again.
    â€˜By the way, Calma,’ she said. ‘Loved the simile exercise.’
    Huh! I felt like smacking her in the face. Might have improved it.
    Kiffo was waiting for me when I came out.
    â€˜What did fart-face want,