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fancy.’ My chosen dessert wasn’t in the cabinet, but I had been to the café enough times to know it was the best pudding on the menu.
    A strong voice with just a trace of a northern lilt breathed over my r ight shoulder.
    ‘Make that two please , and could you put it on the tab for table seven? Hello Grace,’ he continued cheerily, now meeting my gaze through the mirror. ‘I believe you’re looking for me?’
    I turned on my heels, smiled, held out my hand and said, ‘Hello.’
     
    We returned to table seven and sat just for a moment in (fairly awkward) silence. I placed my hands under my legs to stop them fidgeting with the table mats.
    The billboard with my name plastered across it rested against his chair; I nodded towards it and smiled.
    ‘ Don’t know how you missed it,’ he said with a laugh, but there was a twinkle in his eye and we both knew I hadn’t – I flushed again.
    ‘Well, I don’t know about you,’ he began, ‘but now this is really happening it feels a little bit … strange?’ He scratched the back of his left ear while talking, his head slightly tilted to one side.
    ‘ Yes, I’ve had quite a morning,’ I said, trying to find some semblance of normal conversation, my previous bravado during the call with Paul had diminished somewhat. ‘I’ve only just found out about this whole …’ I took a deep intake of breath, ‘I’m not sure what to call it really. Trip of discovery?’
    At that moment the waitress arrived. She looked to be about my age. As she placed the accoutrements on the table she flashed her best smile at Alasdair and leant over – in an exaggerated manner – to place the pudding in front of him. He afforded her a courteous smile, and moved his pile of books to one side to make room on the table, before she sashayed off.
    ‘ Shall I just tell you what I know and how I happen to be caught up in all of this?’ he said. ‘You must be wondering why on earth I’m here. Rosamund’s request was a little, well, let’s say … peculiar?’
    ‘ Yes, that would probably be a good idea. Do you mind if I eat while you’re talking? I’m starving suddenly. I had a long drive down from London this morning.’
    He gestured I should start eating, took a quick sip of tea, leaned forward in his seat and began.
    ‘ I’ve been passing through the retreat for about three years now, on and off. I’ve got to know Jake,’ he paused, ‘and your mum was a really good friend. I was there last April and they invited me back for a couple of days in July, that’s when they told me their terrible news.’
    I felt my expression harden. How could Mum have told this man about her prognosis and not me?
    ‘ I know she chose not to tell you about the severity of her illness and if it’s any consolation, we both – Jake and I that is – tried to talk her out of it, but she was adamant. She asked me to make myself available for the last two weeks in May so I could go with you on the trip. I said no to her at first, thinking the whole thing was unfair on you, but she could be so … persuasive?’
    I realised it was the perfect opportunity to explain he need not accompany me on the trip. I put my spoon down.
    ‘ It’s funny you should say that,’ I began, ‘because—’
    ‘ But after about an hour of toing and froing,’ he continued, seemingly oblivious to my attempt to interrupt, ‘I agreed to go, obviously. But I’ve spent the past six months wondering if I should have said no. Anyway,’ he sighed, ‘to cut a long story short, here I am. And now I’m here, I’m really looking forward to it. I could do with a holiday.’
    He smiled cheerily – contagiously – and picked up his spoon.
    ‘ Sorry, Grace, you were about to say something?’
    ‘ Was I?’ I lied.
    Christ, this was going to be difficult .
    ‘ My mind’s gone completely blank. You must have thought she’d gone barking mad when she told you her plan.’
    ‘ Tell me about it,’ he scoffed, ‘even my