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but you wouldn’t want Tom to find out. He would freak the fuck out. And then you’d have to quit working here.”
    “That’s exactly why I only mess with guys who work
off
the Hill. And if you were smart, you would do the same, Laura.”
    “But I only sleep around with boys who work over on the House side!”
    “Laura is a
bicameral
slut,” April informed me.
    “Jackie, don’t listen to her,” Laura said. “She’s just jealous that I get laid more than she does because I’m a blonde.”
    Since April couldn’t leave her desk, she called up Dan and told him to keep me company while I waited for my interview.
    “Make sure you wipe down the conference table when you’re done in there,” Laura joked.
    April and I rolled our eyes.
    DAN REMINDED ME OF A young James Spader: somewhat watery-looking, but oddly attractive nonetheless. He wasn’t my type—I usually don’t go for a guy with glasses—but he was probably the best-looking guy in the office. By Hill standards, that’s not saying much, but I could see how April might start crushing on him, being as bored with her job as she was.
    In the conference room we made small talk. I felt like he was making excessive eye contact and smiling at me too much. But, then again, I was batting my eyelashes at him and smiling harder than a beauty pageant contestant. I was preparing for my interview so I was trying to be as charming as possible. I couldn’t help it if Dan was susceptible to my feminine wiles.
    “You’re from New York,” he said. “So what brings you to DC?”
    I wished I had an easier answer to this question. So I made one up.
    “I have a boyfriend here,” I told him.
    “You do?”
    I nodded to confirm.
    “But I thought—aren’t you living with April?” he asked.
    “I’m not ready to move in with him just yet,” I lied. “But, yes, I’m living with April for the time being.”
    What was he trying to say about my pretend relationship with my imaginary boyfriend? That it wasn’t serious?
    He moved on.
    “So what issues are you interested in?” he asked. “What would you like to work on?”
    I struck a thoughtful pose, but was unable to come up with an answer. Did I give a shit about anything besides my own wardrobe and well-being? Not really.
    “What do you know about appropriations?” Dan asked. “We always need help with our appropriations requests.”
    Appropriations.
The word alone bored me to tears.
    “That would be great,” I said, tossing my hair.
    “Great,” he agreed. “I’ll check and see if Gloria is ready to see you.”
    I aced the interview; I would begin the next day as an intern. Another day, another no dollar. But now I could put it on my resume and start looking for a real job.
    I TRIED CALLING HOME, to give the fam an update, but again, there was no answer, so I called up my sister, Lee, who was away at school.
    “Mike broke up with me!” I announced when she picked up the phone. “The wedding is off, and now I’m in Washington, sleeping on my friend’s couch!”
    “What did you do?” she asked, knowing that this could only be my fault.
    “I fucked up,” I admitted and told her the whole story, to which she responded with her usual candor.
    “Mike wasn’t right for you anyway,” she said. “He was too nice.”
    “But that’s why I should have him.” I sighed. “He was the nicest guy I ever met.”
    “And then he threw you away! If he loved you, he would have married you by now. And if
you
loved
him,
you wouldn’t have fucked Kevin. You probably
wanted
to get caught cheating, because subconsciously, you wanted a way out.”
    (Lee was a psych major.)
    “I didn’t want any of this to happen!” I argued. “I ruined everything. But there’s nothing I can do now. Mike hates me, and I have no right to bother him ever again. It’s over.”
    “So what will you do now that you have your freedom?” Lee asked. “Are you enjoying the single life?”
    “Well, right now I have to get a job, but