this an’ the evil a that an’ come to fin’ out they wouldn’t know a joint an’ couldn’t identify one if they got bit on the ass.’
‘Have I been criticizing you or what you do?’ she asked slowly.
‘That’s not the point,’ I said. ‘Look, what am I s’posed to be? A pusher or what? Like, I want you to start smokin’ to add to my income, right?’
The effect of the liquor and the Novocain reaction that comes with marijuana had me talking and listening in slow motion. I was starting to ramble about nothing. Behind the lenses of the reflector sunglasses, tears were welling up in the corners of myeyes as I began to nod and lean on the stairs and lose parts of the conversation.
‘All right,’ Crystal agreed.
She took the stick from me and tried to imitate the way I had inhaled it, taking it straight down to my lungs. She only succeeded in damn near choking herself to death. I couldn’t help but laugh, and in spite of everything. Crystal fell all over me, laughing at her own ineptitude.
She looked at me carefully when the laughter subsided and took the sunglasses from my eyes.
‘Do you always wear these?’ she asked me.
‘Yeah. I wear them most of the time, anyway.’
‘Why?’
‘To be cool, I guess.’ I started laughing again.
‘I can never really see a person who wears these things. People just aren’t the same when their eyes are hidden.’
Softly she wiped the tears from my eyes, tears that had been uncontrollably released when I became temporarily hysterical at her attempts to get high. Everything always seems to be a million times funnier when you’re high, and I was sorry that I couldn’t stop. I could nearly feel the embarrassment that Crys felt.
‘I’m too young for you too, aren’t I?’ she asked.
‘Well . . . aren’t you? You claim seventeen, but how old are you really? How long have you been livin’ insteada just watchin’?’ My eyes weren’t focusing properly. I took another drag from the bush and then stubbed it out and put the roach in my shirt pocket. I felt as though Crys and I were caught somewhere in a mist between life and reality.
Her face was very close to mine. I felt very masculine and in control of everything that happened between us; lord and master of a slow-motion jungle. I draped an arm around her and looked away. The dim lights flickered at the bottom of the stairs, and the smoke fought its way across the ceiling. Iturned her face to mine and kissed her very gently. I felt her lips parting under mine. Very tenderly I touched the fabric covering her breasts, and her sighs began, her breathing ragged in my ear. I touched the cloth of her skirt just above the knee. She gasped for air and clung to me. The drowsiness that had grabbed me blunted my senses and kept my mind away from her small sobs.
‘No, Eddie. Please, no . . . Will that prove that I’m a woman?’
I removed my hand and touched her face softly. She kissed my cheek and mouth as I struggled to light a cigarette. There was nothing I could say.
August 3, 1968 / 4:00 P.M.
Memories of the party faded. I started working for Zinari on the Monday following John’s gig, and I was raking in more money than I had planned to see for quite some time. I got involved with the job and lost sight of friends from the block. I was determined to do a good job.
At the same time, John Lee had become very involved with his job too. I heard about one narrow escape he made from the Man because Junior Jones burned up the patrol car. I knew that I wouldn’t want to have my business balanced on anything as dangerous as that. I tried to act as though it was just a part of life. I told myself that it was no concern of mine, because I wasn’t on the corner anymore. I still heard the news, though, and it was very strange to hear one of your basketball teammates referred to as a twenty-dollar Jones. The mainline train to hell was collecting passengers at a rapid clip. The older cornerboys had gone the way of
‘Have I been criticizing you or what you do?’ she asked slowly.
‘That’s not the point,’ I said. ‘Look, what am I s’posed to be? A pusher or what? Like, I want you to start smokin’ to add to my income, right?’
The effect of the liquor and the Novocain reaction that comes with marijuana had me talking and listening in slow motion. I was starting to ramble about nothing. Behind the lenses of the reflector sunglasses, tears were welling up in the corners of myeyes as I began to nod and lean on the stairs and lose parts of the conversation.
‘All right,’ Crystal agreed.
She took the stick from me and tried to imitate the way I had inhaled it, taking it straight down to my lungs. She only succeeded in damn near choking herself to death. I couldn’t help but laugh, and in spite of everything. Crystal fell all over me, laughing at her own ineptitude.
She looked at me carefully when the laughter subsided and took the sunglasses from my eyes.
‘Do you always wear these?’ she asked me.
‘Yeah. I wear them most of the time, anyway.’
‘Why?’
‘To be cool, I guess.’ I started laughing again.
‘I can never really see a person who wears these things. People just aren’t the same when their eyes are hidden.’
Softly she wiped the tears from my eyes, tears that had been uncontrollably released when I became temporarily hysterical at her attempts to get high. Everything always seems to be a million times funnier when you’re high, and I was sorry that I couldn’t stop. I could nearly feel the embarrassment that Crys felt.
‘I’m too young for you too, aren’t I?’ she asked.
‘Well . . . aren’t you? You claim seventeen, but how old are you really? How long have you been livin’ insteada just watchin’?’ My eyes weren’t focusing properly. I took another drag from the bush and then stubbed it out and put the roach in my shirt pocket. I felt as though Crys and I were caught somewhere in a mist between life and reality.
Her face was very close to mine. I felt very masculine and in control of everything that happened between us; lord and master of a slow-motion jungle. I draped an arm around her and looked away. The dim lights flickered at the bottom of the stairs, and the smoke fought its way across the ceiling. Iturned her face to mine and kissed her very gently. I felt her lips parting under mine. Very tenderly I touched the fabric covering her breasts, and her sighs began, her breathing ragged in my ear. I touched the cloth of her skirt just above the knee. She gasped for air and clung to me. The drowsiness that had grabbed me blunted my senses and kept my mind away from her small sobs.
‘No, Eddie. Please, no . . . Will that prove that I’m a woman?’
I removed my hand and touched her face softly. She kissed my cheek and mouth as I struggled to light a cigarette. There was nothing I could say.
August 3, 1968 / 4:00 P.M.
Memories of the party faded. I started working for Zinari on the Monday following John’s gig, and I was raking in more money than I had planned to see for quite some time. I got involved with the job and lost sight of friends from the block. I was determined to do a good job.
At the same time, John Lee had become very involved with his job too. I heard about one narrow escape he made from the Man because Junior Jones burned up the patrol car. I knew that I wouldn’t want to have my business balanced on anything as dangerous as that. I tried to act as though it was just a part of life. I told myself that it was no concern of mine, because I wasn’t on the corner anymore. I still heard the news, though, and it was very strange to hear one of your basketball teammates referred to as a twenty-dollar Jones. The mainline train to hell was collecting passengers at a rapid clip. The older cornerboys had gone the way of
Similar Books
In Green's Jungles
Gene Wolfe
Naughty Little Secret
Shelley Bradley
Dead Man's Bluff
Adriana Law
Dream a Little Scream
Mary Kennedy
Dominion
Scott McElhaney
Bring Back Her Body
Stuart Brock
The Golden Symbol
Andrea Pearson
The Templars
Michael Haag
A Perilous Proposal
Michael Phillips
Tipping the Velvet
Sarah Waters