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our plan of action. For this unique and historic voyage I intend to sail with you, but I shall not interfere. You have responsibility for your own area of work and for the overall welfare of the ship and her company. Captain Sparda!’
    The Captain, who had been attempting to decipher a large nautical map hanging on the wall, visible jumped.
    ‘I have not had the pleasure of your company previously. Perhaps you will report on the recent sea trials.’
    The Captain, a diminutive man of no more than five feet four inches, rose to his feet.
    ‘Sit down, Captain,’ ordered the Admiral. ‘This is all very informal today, although once on board we shall have a little more discipline and order than that which is usually found on cruise ships. Today we can relax.’
    ‘Thank you Admiral, sir’, Sparda began. ‘The engine was a little rusty and made quite a lot of noise but, once we had insulated it with thick cardboard, it seemed well - although the insulation must be changed every other day. The balconies, six in all, were riveted outside the six top-grade suites. Alas, there was not the time to fit balcony doors, but the portholes are reasonably large and most passengers should have no difficulty in squeezing through. The former stables have been convertedinto very handsome, pre-fabricated suites, and the old cattle trough has been kept for sentimental reasons but also to provide a pool where passengers can sit with their feet in the water. It will remind them of seaside holidays.’
    ‘Capital, Captain,’ boomed the Admiral. ‘Quite excellent. We want our clients to have a new experience and yet to feel secure in memories from the past, evoked by the ship’s artefacts. What about the rudder?’
    Here a cloud seemed to pass across the face of the good Captain, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared.
    ‘A few problems at first,’ he said. ‘Initially it had the unfortunate habit of sticking in one position so that for several hours we went round and round in circles. I think the ship is seaworthy now.’
    ‘Well,’ said the Admiral, always quick to turn a misadventure into an opportunity, ‘if that happens on the voyage, it will give our passengers a three hundred and sixty-degree view of the territory they are exploring. Thank you, Captain. Most satisfactory.’
    The Admiral made several notes in his Missions to Seamen diary and turned towards Mr Bigatoni.
    ‘Now sir, what are your plans?’
    For the past several weeks Enzo had been perusing the London Telephone Directory in a vain attempt to remember lists of names. Faces? No problem, but where he had seen the face andto whom it belonged defeated him. He produced a simple paper-covered book from his pocket.
    ‘This, sir,’ he said, ‘will provide us with the highlight of the cruise.’ He handed the Admiral a volume entitled A Visitor’s Guide to the French Language.
    ‘I have similar volumes in Italian, German, Spanish and Albanian. Each morning at the prime time of eleven I intend to conduct a language class, when I shall read a word to the passengers and they will repeat it back to me. We want there to be an educational element to the cruise, Admiral, and I am sure that my classes will provide just what is needed.
    ‘We have also been fortunate to secure the services of two world-renowned lecturers. Sir Horace Beanstalk will talk at six o’clock each evening in the space available before dinner at seven. He will address the passengers on the flora and fauna of the Isle of Man. The attendance may not be too great at this hour, but I have asked Sir Horace to have cyclostyled copies of his text available, and that, together with a set of Magic Lantern slides, will be available in the library. The other lecturer, Dr Ludwig Bernstein, will speak at ten thirty each evening on the music of Stockhausen.’
    ‘This gets better and better,’ said the Admiral, beaming brightly. ‘I can’t wait to listen to these two esteemed gentlemen. What about a quiz, Mr