Sklo’kotax-English dictionaries so we would know useful phrases in the local language, like “Where is the rest room?” and “Would you please stop torturing me?” and a moment later the third attache walked in.
Catarina’s eyes lit up. “Why, it’s Mailboat Bobby Stemm. So this is where Lydia parked you. How nice to see you!” she said with absolutely transparent insincerity.
Bobby Stemm hunched his shoulders, looking slightly less than pleased to see us again.
Bobby had reached Schuyler’s World on a mailship a few days before Prince Genghis’s invading Rodent hordes showed up. On arrival he tried to order us to surrender to Genghis’s less than tender mercy on the theory that giving up would embarrass the navy less than getting ourselves blown away. Although Bobby’s golden profile belongs on a recruiting poster, it was not his finest hour. He ended up wearing the proverbial egg-yolk mascara after we whipped Genghis. The navy being somewhat sensitive about its image, after Bobby was depicted as cowering under a couch in the movie loosely based on our exploits, his career took a sharp nosedive.
He said, with obvious trepidation, “With the second military attache indisposed, Secretary Rizvi asked me to be present.”
“Indisposed. Irate husband?” Catarina inquired sweetly.
Bobby unbent slightly. “Well, yes. Fortunately, a terrible shot.”
“It’s nice to see that attache duty hasn’t changed.”
Bobby reached over and shook my hand gingerly. “Good to see you again, MacKay. I understand you’re a vampire, too. How does one catch McLendon’s Syndrome?”
I gave him a toothy grin. “Shaking hands works for me.”
Bobby yanked his hand back, and Catarina leaned over the desk. “Bobby, if we’re going to be working together, I should mention that I had them backdate my promotion to lieutenant commander to be absolutely certain that I would be senior to you. Got that?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Stemm nodded his head up and down like a puppet.
“Lieutenant Commander Stemm has informed me that you are here at the request of Navy Intelligence,” Rizvi said sternly. “I must insist on being kept apprised of your activities. Negotiations between the Foreign Office and the Klo’klotixa government are at a delicate stage, and Ambassador Meisenhelder has instructed me to avoid anything which might upset them.”
Catarina smiled crookedly. “Of course.”
Rizvi relaxed visibly. “Lieutenant Commander Stemm has also informed me that the two of you have McLendon’s Syndrome. Ah—”
“Yes, we’re vamps,” Catarina said cheerfully, tapping her sunglasses. “But there’s absolutely nothing to worry about unless someone gets us upset and unsettles our endocrine balances.”
Under certain circumstances, meaning when our endocrine balances get mucked up, vampires can sometimes perform incredible feats of hysterical strength. Catarina proceeded to tell them how on Schuyler’s World I came out of a coma to beat an assassin half to death with a pillow, bend her pistol in half, and tear a hospital apart looking for chocolate chip cookies.
“We will try to ensure that you are properly taken care of.” Rizvi wiped his forehead. “The ambassador is, however, concerned about the level of interest the Klo’klotixa government is taking in the so-called ‘Vampire Master Race Theory.’ “
“I trust the ambassador has taken pains to assure them that there is no truth to the theory whatsoever,” Catarina said.
“Naturally the ambassador did so, in the firmest possible language,” Rizvi said stiffly.
“That must have impressed the heck out of them,” I commented. A second or two later I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in my ankle.
Rizvi coughed judiciously. “You might also find it interesting that a Ms. Gwen Shurie has accepted an offer of employment from the Klo’klotixa government and is expected to arrive from Earth shortly. Captain MacKay, I understand that you know her.”
“Not