Cicero’s consulship, I remember, Caesar and Pompey tried to put themselves on a board of governors to oversee the takeover of Egypt; Cicero killed the legislation with one of his brilliant speeches by claiming, in so many words, that Caesar and Pompey would ultimately make themselves kings. Now Caesar and Pompey have taken to extorting money directly from King Ptolemy.”
Agitated, Dio began to speak, but I held up my hand. “Hear me out, Teacher. If Ptolemy bends to Roman wishes so that he can stay in power, even if he pays for the privilege with silver to keep the Romans at bay, how can you fault him for that? So far, by one means or another, he’s kept the Romans from moving into Alexandria and taking over the imperial palace. That indicates to me that King Ptolemy must possess more diplomatic expertise than you give him credit for.”
“He bends too far for the Romans,” said Dio sternly. “What does it matter whether they conquer us outright, if they can use King Ptolemy as their private tax collector to drain our lifeblood?”
“Perhaps; but I think I see a contradiction, Teacher. Why do you resist Roman rule if you despise your own rulers so very much?”
Dio sighed. “Because, ultimately, the Ptolemies rule over Egypt by the will of the people. When they rule badly, the people rise up and cast them out. When they rule tolerably, the people tolerate them. Such a system may Jack the perfection of Plato’s ideal republic, but it suits the people of Egypt and has done so for hundreds of years. On the other hand, if Egypt should become a Roman province under the sway of a Roman governor, its people will become mere vassals of Rome, and we shall have no say at all over our destiny. We shall be drafted to fight in wars that are not of our choosing. We shall be forced to abide by laws dictated to us by a Senate of wealthy Romans who live too far from Alexandria to hear the complaints of its people. We shall become just another outpost of Rome’s empire, watching our wealth become Roman plunder. Our statues and carpets and paintings will decorate the houses of Rome’s rich; our grain will fill the stomachs of the Roman mob, and you can be sure that any payment will be far less than fair. Egypt is a great and free nation; we will not become minions of Rome.” Dio took a deep breath. A tear glinted in his eye, and the gravity of his expression was oddly heightened by the feminine cosmetics that colored his weathered, wrinkled face. The absurdity of his costume could not disguise the depth of his emotion.
“But this is all academic, if you’ll pardon the pun,” said Trygonion blandly but with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “If the former king, Alexander II, really did leave a will bequeathing Egypt to Rome—”
Dio exploded. “No one in Egypt believes in the validity of the so-called will, because no one in Rome is able to produce it! The will of Alexander II is a fiction, a fraud, a pretext for the Roman Senate to go meddling in Egyptian affairs, a device to make whoever rules Egypt grovel at theirfeet. ‘You may hold sway for the moment,’ they say, ‘but you cannot be legitimate without our approval, and you can never be anything but an impostor, for Egypt was left to us by our puppet Alexander II and we may choose to exercise our hegemony at any time.’ They wave an imaginary scrap of parchment in the air and call it a will. King Ptolemy was a fool to play along with such a lie. ‘Friend and Ally,’ indeed! The plaque on the Capitoline should read, ‘Piper and Puppet of the Roman People.’ ”
“But now you’ve replaced the puppet,” I said.
“The Piper has been booed off the stage!” cried Trygonion.
Dio clenched his teeth. “The crisis which revolves around Egypt’s throne may be a matter of amusement to you, gallus, but to the people of Egypt I assure you it is not. Roman diplomats and merchants in Alexandria seldom go out of doors these days, for fear of being tom apart by