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we’ll travel back in time and meet our
former selves again and again and again.”
    “I don’t care. I’ll be asleep
anyway,” pointed out jixX. “So will my former selves.”
    “Come on, up you get,” said
LEP.
    jixX lay on his back for a
while and then, with a surge of energy that surprised even himself, rolled out
of bed and made his way to the main control room.
    “What now?” he asked with a
yawn as he dropped into the anti-inertial command couch. He glanced at his
spruce and wondered whether it needed watering.
    “Press the little
black-and-white checked button on the panel to your left,” instructed LEP.
    jixX searched for the button
and then pressed it. A small terminal flicked to life at his side. On it was a
3D image of a chessboard, set up and ready for a game of chess.
    “What’s this?” asked jixX,
his suspicions roused.
    “In-flight entertainment,”
said LEP. “Between course adjustments.”
    “I haven’t played chess for
years.”
    “No worries. I’ll give you a
few tips as we go along. You’re white. Your move.”
    By the time of the first
course correction, jixX was two pawns up.
    He was a bishop, two knights,
and three pawns up at the second course correction.
    By the third, he was a
bishop, two knights, a queen, a rook, and five pawns up.
    “I thought computers were
supposed to be good at chess,” said jixX before moving his queen and saying,
“Check.”
    “Ha, you have fallen into my
trap!” said LEP triumphantly.
    Two moves later, jixX had
mate.
    “Do you want to resign?” LEP
asked him.
    “Very funny,” said jixX.
“It’s checkmate.”
    “Nonsense.” LEP moved his
king diagonally two spaces.
    “Sorry, that’s not allowed.”
    “In that case, I will have to
resort to the Asquith Glibbery Defence.”
    “Oh yes?” asked jixX with a
patient sigh.
    “It is said that young
Asquith never lost a game in his entire life after developing the defence.”
    “Really? So what is the
Asquith Glibbery Defence?”
    “It’s a kind of smooth sweep
of the arm, knocking the entire board and all the pieces onto the floor. Like
this.” The screen went blank. “Stalemate. Honours even.”
    jixX rolled his eyes. “Next
game,” he said.
    *
    For the rest of the night jixX
and LEP played draughts, backgammon, mastermind and dominoes. LEP proved to be
a bad loser and an even worse cheat.
    “How about a card trick?”
said LEP.
    “No thanks.”
    “Here’s a perfectly ordinary
pack of playing cards,” LEP said, as a picture of a perfectly ordinary pack of
playing cards appeared on the screen. “Pick a card. Any card.”
    Before jixX could say
anything the nine of spades appeared on the screen.
    “Now memorize it,” instructed
LEP.
    jixX sighed wearily.
    “Got it?”
    “Yes,” said jixX, bored.
    The screen went blank.
    “Okay. Now I want you to
concentrate on your card. Concentrate very hard and I will use my extra-sensory
telepathic powers to tell you what the card was.”
    jixX yawned.
    “Are you concentrating?”
    “With all my mind.”
    “Alright... I’m beginning to
get something... Something’s coming through... Keep concentrating... the mist
is lifting... Yes, I have it! Your card was the nine of spades. Correct?”
    “Amazing,” said jixX.
    “It’s a gift.”
    jixX raised an eyebrow. “In
that case I suggest you return it and ask for your money back. Or ask for
something more useful, like a pair of slippers.”
    “Do you want to know how I
did it?”
    “No, LEP. That would spoil
the illusion.”
    “You’re right.”
    Just then the door swished
open and fluX entered the main control room. The anti-inertial command couch
squeaked as jixX turned to face him.
    “You’re up early,” he said.
    “I hov bin up all ze night,”
said the behavioural chemist, looking very much as if indeed he had.
    “Oh?”
    “Ya. I hov bin vorking on Ze
Divine Message.”
    “Ah,” said jixX, the smile
fading from his face. With an effort, he managed to fix an interested