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Anatomy (Side View)
     
    The area occupied by the clitoris and crura is actually a complex clitoral system. The connecting nerves, tissues, muscles, and ligaments all react and engage with one another when lust comes a-callin’. The clitoris, the area underneath the inner and outer lips, the ring around the urethra (where urine leaves the body), and the wall of the perineum all contain erectile tissues that fill with blood and swell upon arousal—sometimes noticeably, sometimes not. Several layers of muscles line the pelvic floor, connecting the clitoris to the erectile tissues. An oval-shaped muscle of erectile tissue surrounds the inner lips and clitoris, where the vagina and urethra pass through it, and connects to another oval that surrounds the anal sphincter muscle, encircling the anus. This “figure eight” helps explain why anal penetration feels good.
     

The Sexual Response Cycle
     
I think part of what made the experience unpleasurable early on was not understanding the vulva and not knowing what to do.

     
    Should our imaginary model become sexually aroused, her senses and her genitals would shift from the everyday to the superreal. Pleasure becomes a priority, and her entire body begins to respond physically to the chemicals and hormones flooding from brain to bloodstream. Her body begins moving in an unconscious symphony to the directions of an invisible conductor; blood rushes to the pelvis, filling the erectile tissues, and nerve cells in the genitals become excited. Her breasts increase slightly in size, and stimulation of the nipples may become desirable, because it causes production of the hormone oxytocin, which is generated during sexual stimulation and causes tingling sensations in the genitals. The skin on various parts of her body become hypersensitive, and her genitals flush and deepen in color.
     
    The erectile tissue in a woman’s genitals is analogous to the erectile tissue in the penis, and it, too, swells when aroused. However, unlike in a penis, there are no muscles that compress the blood flow to retain stiffness, and perhaps that is where we women get our capacity for multiple orgasms.
     
    During arousal, erection pushes the glans forward, and it may poke out from under the hood. The legs stiffen, elongate, and swell, expanding both inner and outer labia. In some women, this swelling is very visible, while in others it may not be visible at all or may be felt only with a sensitive fingertip. The clitoral shaft itself is a round segment of erectile tissue, and during arousal you can roll your finger back and forth just above the glans to feel it. In most instances, you’ll be able to feel a ridge one-quarter inch to one inch long, similar to a soda straw or a tight rubber band, which rises toward the pubic bone. You might also be able to feel where it bends sharply and divides into the legs of the crura.
     
    Inside the inner lips there are two tiny ducts connected to two tiny glands called the vulviovaginal glands, which produce a few drops of thick fluid during arousal. This contributes to, but does not compose entirely, vaginal lubrication during the sexual response cycle. Pressure from dilated clitoral blood vessels inside the vagina during arousal forces clear fluid through the walls of the vagina, which is where the majority of vaginal lubrication comes from. However, lubrication is not a reliable means by which to measure arousal. A woman can be lubricated yet unaroused and can just as easily be chomping at the bit for sex and have a dry vulva. Lubrication varies depending on mood, stress, where a woman is in her menstrual cycle, whether she’s experienced menopause, medications and antihistamines she is taking, and any number of other factors.
     
I couldn’t believe how dry I was after menopause, and I kept thinking I’d get wet when my husband went down on me. We had to start using lube, and it feels so good now I wish we’d tried it before I dried out.

     
    As arousal