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Great Dane.
    Then I saw something that looked suspiciously like an arm. Yikes. Bear, maybe?
    I slowly got to my feet and backed toward the door. The last thing I wanted was a confrontation with a grizzly. And the screen door would be about as effective as a broken fly swat in repelling an attack.
    The animal moved a little, and I could see it was roughly the shape of a man, but furry, very furry. Yep, bear. Had to be. I backed faster.
    Just as I opened the kitchen door, the animal turned and looked right at me, then spun and headed rapidly in the other direction.
    On two feet.
    Bears run on all fours.
    That thing looked like...well, like a Bigfoot.
    I turned and got inside the house as fast as I could, locking the door tight behind me. Obviously I was waaay too tired. That’s all it could be, right?

Chapter 4
    “Wake up, sleepyhead.”
    I opened my eyes and cringed at the bright light coming from the window. “Since when are you a morning person?”
    Maddie grinned. “Since shopping is involved.”
    It figured. Shopping, the Holy Grail of the slim and stylish. “Fine, I’ll catch up with you later.” I pulled the covers over my head.
    Two seconds later, my covers were all the way at the foot of the bed. “No way José. Liza will be here in a half hour, and you’re going to the mall with us.”
    I groaned. Maybe if I ignored her she’d go away. Or I could bargain with her, or bribe her...
    Or I could get my ass up before she thought of something really mean to do to me. Madison Clark may look like a sweet person, but I’ve seen her dark side, and she scares me. So I did what any red-blooded, relatively sane person would do: I went shopping.
    ****
    An hour later, Madison, Liza and I were at the Ugly Creek Mall. Yep, that’s right, there’s a mall with that ridiculous name. Just to throw another curve into the game, the mall was about ten miles northeast of Ugly Creek. It was big, relatively new, and very nice. When I commented on the situation, Maddie told me Ugly Creek is near enough to Knoxville that the mall draws shoppers from there. Personally, I think it’s tourists looking for a Bigfoot that’s powering the shopping dollar. We parked on the north side, near J.C. Penney’s, then we power-walked into the land of retail.
    Madison Clark is an excellent reporter. She charms information out of even the most reluctant source, and she has seemingly never-ending energy when she’s going after a story. All that pales, though, in the wake of her ability to shop until everybody else drops. Except for Liza, who kept up without even breaking a sweat. Must be the fresh air, ‘cause they grow ‘em tough here.
    After six stores and three trips back to the car to stash bags, we stopped long enough to grab lunch at the food court. I would have loved to just sit, relax, and people watch. My companions, however, were soon chomping at the bit. I tried hard to delay them, but nothing stands between ex-cheerleaders and retailers primed to take their money. It was barely twenty minutes before we headed back to the stores.
    As we rushed headlong toward a high-end clothing store, I caught a glimpse of an odd little man. He had to be less than four feet tall and wore all green, which contrasted sharply with his bright red beard. It was all I could do not to point and shout, “Leprechaun!” But that was impossible. Right?
    I realized I’d stopped dead in place when I heard some seriously bad language emanating from more than one person behind me. That realization brought me out of my daze and I shook my head to clear it. When I looked back, the man had vanished. “Losing my mind,” I muttered, and rushed off to find the Shopping Twins before they forgot I was with them and left me at the mercy of tourists and leprechauns.
    A couple of hours later I was dawdling in a stall in the ladies room at Sears, not so much because I needed to go as because I needed to rest. While I was hiding—I mean making use of the facilities—I