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myself heading for the door.
    “With or without tassels, I have no idea,” said Mr Plush senior. He gave me a curious look. “Why do you ask?”
    With the two of them following, I went down a corridor, through a set of doors and down another corridor. More doors. “I think it’s in here,” I said.
    “But I never smoke in there. Almeria would have my hide. Ah well, Miss Sparks, if you say so.” He opened the door for me.
    Once again I didn’t know what kind of a room to expect, but I tell you now what I wasn’t expecting. A snake! Thick as a drainpipe and so long that it was wound twice round the potted tree in front of us and draped three feet on either side.
    I stifled a scream. “It’s a … it’s …”
    “She’s a diamond python,” said Mr Plush senior. “
Morelia spilota spilota
. Her name is Cleopatra.” He smiled and stroked her, and she reared up so that her head was level with his. “Beautiful isn’t she?” he said admiringly. “Pure muscle. I say, Miss Sparks, are you all right? You’re awfully pale.”
    “It’s … it’s …” Another snake. On the floor. Right near my foot.
    “That’s Antony,” said young Mr Plush.
    Suddenly Antony stirred. His tongue flickered out, and for the first time in my life, I fainted.

5
TELEAGTIVISM
    I opened my eyes to see two faces hovering above me. Two ladies’ faces. One was old and looked like a pug, and the other was young and looked like an angel.
    “How are you feeling, dear?” said the angel, placing a cushion behind my head.
    “Fuss and bother,” said the pug. “Antony’s about as dangerous as an old sock.”
    “Here’s a glass of water,” said the angel, putting it to my lips while I took a sip. “Are you overheated? Would you like me to fan you?”
    “Of course she doesn’t need a fan. There’s no point coddling her,” said the pug. “Healthy young girl like this should be up and about, not languishing on a sofa.”
    “I’m very sorry, Miss Sparks.” Another face hovered into view. It was young Mr Plush.
    “As am I, Miss Sparks.” The voice of Mr Plush senior seemed to come from somewhere inside a tree.
    “Where am I?” It looked like we were in the middle of a forest. “And where are the … the …” I looked around for the snakes.
    “Antony and Cleopatra are back in their case. Where they should have been all along,” the angel said sharply. “You know all the servants are terrified of them, Aunt. It was very thoughtless of you. Down, Amy!” The black-and-white spaniel I’d met when I arrived jumped up and tried to lick my hands.
    “Fiddlesticks,” said the pug. “There’s nothing the maids enjoy so much as a good fit of hysterics. Besides, I was sketching them
au naturel
. Well, as
au naturel
as you can get in a suburban conservatory.”
    “Conservatory?” I said.
    “We’re in the conservatory,” said the angel. I had no idea what she was talking about, but she explained. “It’s where we grow our rare and tropical plants. That’s why it’s so warm. And the snakes live in here too.”
    I gazed around me. Of course it wasn’t a forest. It was a big room all made of glass, with a tiled floor and raised garden beds and large pots for the plants and trees. A fountain trickled water. The trees were called palms, I learned later, and there were about twenty different kinds. I was lying on a wicker sofa, and nearby were two wicker chairs, a dog basket and a table laid with tea for two. The spaniel, the angel, the pug and the snakes must have been having a tea party when we walked in.
    “Since Papa and SP are so forgetful, I’ll introduce myself,” said the angel. “I am Judith Plush.”
    Miss Plush had the family resemblance all right, except her hair was more chestnut than brown. She had melting dark eyes and the same beautiful smile as her father and brother. No moustache, of course.
    “A thousand pardons, Judith my dear. Where are my manners?” said Mr Plush senior. He turned to the pug. “Miss