Read The Trouble with Emily Dickinson for Free Online

check with the paper. I’m sure I
could get you a part-time writing job, maybe an internship.”
    JJ swallowed the potatoes that had turned to
mush from sitting in her mouth, and shook her head.
    “Do you miss school?” her mother asked.
    “No, it’s not that.” JJ’s eyes widened, when
she realized she still had the ability to talk. She felt the words
begin to climb up her throat, and knew there was no going back.
    “I have to tell you something,” she
continued, her words coming slowly. “Something I am afraid to say.
Something that I have to say, even though I know you both will be
disappointed.”
    Her father set down his fork and eyed her
mother. JJ could see the concern in his expression, the worry and
the confusion. Her mother remained composed.“Josie, you can tell us
anything.”
    JJ knew this. She had always known this. It
was the actual act of telling that was so hard. “I know—”
    “What is it Jo-Jo-Bear?” Her father’s use of
her pet name tore at her heart.
    JJ held back her tears until they spilled
from her eyes, and when it was time to say the exact words, they
fell from her lips effortlessly: “I’m gay.”
    Silence followed, and then her mother’s tears
began to flow as she stood up and left the room. JJ had rushed
after her, clutching a book she’d purchased a year before, hoping
it would help her parents understand.
    “I know you are confused, Mom, but this might
help.” She handed over the book, Different Daughters, wishing her
mother would find the courage to read it.
    “Was it something I did?” her mother
cried.
    “No, Mom, it’s not something anyone did. It’s
just something I am.”
    JJ wanted to make her understand, but how
could she make someone understand something that took she, herself,
years to come to terms with completely?
    “The neighborhood we raised you in, all those
boys around, maybe if there had been more girls to play with
you—”
    “Mom, it’s not that. I’d still be this way.
I’ve known since the third grade. I’ve always known.”
    Her mother continued to cry, mourning the
loss of the girly daughter image she still clung to. Her father, on
the other hand, remained completely calm. He said he loved her no
matter what, and that was that. JJ knew he was putting on a front
to hide his disappointment. And it came to fruition a few months
later when she was about to leave for her junior year at Sampson
Academy. They had been watching a documentary on same-sex
marriages, and her father, who was set in his ways, expressed
outrage at the idea and vowed never to condone it. This sparked an
intense argument between them, and they didn’t speak for days.
    Eventually her father had come to terms with
it, though he still held onto his own world views, which JJ
accepted because she knew she could not change his entire outlook
on life and society. As long as she had his love and support, she
felt satisfied.
    Her mother eventually finished mourning the
loss of the daughter she’d thought she known, and learned to look
at JJ through different eyes. She even read the book and announced
it formally when JJ came home for Christmas break.
    “I finished the lesbian book you gave me,”
she said proudly.
    JJ laughed. She’d even been able to share
with them her past crushes and insecurities. It was an incredible
feeling to find that her parents’ love was so unconditional. It was
almost overwhelming. Knowing that her friend Queenie had never
experienced such love from her own family somehow made JJ feel
guilty. She knew how much Queenie envied her, and longed to have
the same kind of relationship with her own parents.
    Queenie.
    JJ had never known anyone like her. She
wondered if Queenie was causing a stir at her sister’s wedding
shower, and wished she were there to witness it. Then her mind
drifted again and Kendal danced her way in. Though they had
interacted on more than a few occasions, their conversations had
been limited to poetry and the brilliance of