okay now. Iâm back, Iâm here again.â
We watched her as she stood at the kitchen counter serving the food, the back that was so familiar to us, that never lied. We wanted to believe her because she was our mother and we needed to believe her, but something about her tone and the forced straightness in her spine made us fear the worst. She wanted to be with us, but she wasnât, not really.
9
âMy dadâs up in the tree.â I said it to Megan just like that. Even though Iâd sworn to Mum I wouldnât tell a soul, she had. And, anyway, he was my discovery so it seemed that I had the right to tell who I chose and Megan was my best friend, and it just came out in a spear of words I couldnât hold back.
âI can see him,â Megan said. Her head was resting on the bar at the back of the swing. Her feet were stretched across to my seat and mine to hers. She pointed to the sky. A fleece of clouds slipped past, riddled with holes. I searched through it for ages trying to find him.
âSee his face?â she asked.
I couldnât. The cloud began to stretch. âHeâs gone now,â she said.
âI didnât mean heâs in heaven. Heâs in the tree, I told you.â
âIs he?â she asked.
I nodded.
I could see Megan didnât believe me. âDidnât he go in a box?â Meganâs sandy hair fell across her freckled face.
âYeah, he was, but now heâs in the tree.â
âWe donât go in boxes,â said Megan. âWe get burnt.â
The swing rocked slowly and Meganâs leg dipped down to the grass.
I couldnât work out which was worse, the silence of the box or the horror of the flames.
âI just want to be left,â I said, âand Iâll find my own way.â
âTheyâve got to put you in something.â
âOn the beach,â I said. âIf they have to. Wrapped in my favourite quilt.â
Megan was looking again to the racing clouds above us. âWitch jumping over a hurdle,â she said.
I watched as the witchâs long white front leg grew longer and her face narrowed to a point.
âNow itâs a dragon.â
âI see it,â said Megan.
âBecoming an angel.â
âWith a bugle.â
âBaby riding a pterodactyl holding a club!â I yelled.
âOver there.â Megan pointed to a new bank of clouds. âElephant with long toes.â
The wind pulled at the cloud elephant, elongating its toes, bending them into talons.
âClaws,â I said.
âRibbons,â Megan contradicted me.
âClaws!â I said louder, sitting upright and rocking our giant carriage-like swing. Megan dropped her head back to take another look but our cloud elephant had already joined a froth of clouds on the edge of the sky.
âI want to see him then,â said Megan, slipping down to the ground.
âYou canât see him. You can only talk to him. Except weâre all banned and Mum said theyâd take her away if they found her up in the tree again.â
âTake her away to where?â asked Megan.
âI dunno.â
âYouâd be like an orphan.â Megan was excited.
âI might have to come to your school,â I thought aloud.
âThatâd be good.â
I wasnât sure. âDo they do God at state school?â
âCourse,â she said.
âCanât be the same one as ours?â
We had to think about that. If we had the same God, then why did we go to different schools?
âIt has to be different,â I said.
We were baffled. âIf Iâm a special Catholic,â I said, âat Catholic school â do they tell you that?â
Megan drew a blank expression. Obviously they didnât.
Was it all right we were different? Did it matter my school said it was better to be a Catholic and I was a better person because of it. They must be wrong, because I loved Megan
Abigail Madeleine u Roux Urban