Read The Sphere for Free Online Page B

Axel has turned back to the conversation with his friend. This sort of game really isn’t for me.
    “You’d be making a mistake.”
    “What does it matter? I’ll just pass on societies.”
    “Really big mistake. Let me explain. That would be like saying that you couldn’t choose from all the options, or that you didn’t fit into any of them, which would be even worse.”
    “How can something you do in your free time be so important?”
    “That’s your second mistake. It’s more than just your free time—the societies are a social environment. Your society will be the sphere in which you socialize, and that’s how other people define you. So you can see it’s no small thing.”
    I look around desperately for an escape route. I feel like I’m in the middle of a natural disaster. My eyes meet Axel’s. Aren’t you going to come save me from this bore? It feels like we can communicate without words. I see jealousy in his eyes! I fake a laugh and touch Carl’s arm.
    “Well, I’ll have to find a society, then!” Being nice is always a titanic effort. “And if not, I can always start my own society of misfits, right?”
    “Misfits?”
    “Misfits, yeah. We have our own god and everything...”
    “How interesting!”
    “The god of the misfits...”
    “We’ll have to have a ceremony to welcome him to the pantheon. I’ll propose it to my theological colleagues.”
    Carl bursts into laughter again, his wild-boar grunts echoing. I force myself to laugh with him.
    “You’re just brilliant, Carl.”
    Did that sound as stupid as I think it did?
    Carl stops laughing and strokes my cheek. Axel is watching, but I can’t help jumping back to keep the creep from touching me. It’s pure instinct.
    “Come on, don’t get mad. Why don’t I take you out for a drive and you can tell me more about this god of yours? My Lambo’s right outside.”
    Lambo ? What’s wrong with the word car ?
    “No, thank you, I’m here with someone.”
    As I reach for Axel’s hand I realize I’m the biggest idiot in the universe. There can’t be anyone better qualified. To put up with Carl this whole time and then give up the game...
    “ Excusez-moi, mademoiselle! ”
    What a clown. Axel is holding my hand but he isn’t even looking at me, he’s still talking with David. He’s so obviously blowing me off that Carl gives me a half-smile.
    “Well, if you get bored and feel like going for a ride, just say the word, all right?”
    The wolfish look he gives me makes me shudder. Yeah, I’ve been an easy mark. After a second Carl leaves and I’m all alone with that shrinking feeling you get at times like these. I might as well be a shopping bag, the way Axel is holding my hand. Actually, I think he might care more about a shopping bag. I look around at the other guests; some of the people Axel introduced me to smile from the other side of the room. The objects around me seem to get bigger and bigger. Carl said it: I am different, but not in a good way. I’ll never have even a tenth of the glamour of the ugliest girl at this party. Deep down I’m not really sure I want to be like any of them—they’re the exact opposite of me. But a pit of doubt still yawns at my feet, infinitely powerful, trying to suck me down to the center of the earth. I’d never been aware of how awkward I am. I’d never stopped to think about the way I move or noticed how I always stand with my feet turned in. That sort of thing didn’t matter until I found myself in that imbecile Carl’s world. That revolting slug. He didn’t even have to say it. The way he looked at my feet with those tiny little eyes hidden behind his glasses was more than enough.
    “She’s starting in Math this year.”
    Axel is talking to David about me. I pull myself free, cross the room in a rage, and go out onto the porch. The little paper lanterns make me even angrier; I can’t stand pastels. Feeling the breeze on my face doesn’t help. Hearing the laughter erupting in