Read The Sphere for Free Online Page A

come with him. But why does he even want me here? I glance over at his profile and it’s like I’m seeing him for the first time.
    “I’m in my last year of post-grad,” Carl’s voice pulls me roughly away from my thoughts. “Theology Department, better known as the School of Divinity—I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”
    How is it possible to have such a pompous accent? Carl’s vowels are so round they seem like soap bubbles about to burst.
    “Sorry, I got distracted,” I say, shaking my head. I’m feeling a bit dazed.
    “I’m a history of religion major. I’m interested in religions as anthropological phenomena, you know? My thesis is on ancient eastern religion, the interrelation between...”
    I can’t keep myself from looking over at Axel again, but he doesn’t even know I’m watching him. I guess this just proves what I’ve been afraid of for months now. What I describe to my friends as the big crash . That moment when you realize that everything you’ve gone through with someone has been nothing but overtime, not even part of the real game. To avoid the big crashes you have to know how to enjoy things a little bit, but only a little bit. You can’t get too attached, because then you want more and more until one day you’re singing with your arms outstretched and the Ferris wheel screeches to a halt and you go flying... Axel is ignoring me. I think I’m already in mid-air.
    “You’re distracted again. That’s all right, it’s a normal reaction to feeling overwhelmed.”
    I look back at Carl. He keeps stroking his wineglass with those thick fingers.
    “What? Overwhelmed how?”
    As ridiculous as it is, Carl’s words actually hurt me. I look him in the eye for the first time. His eyes are black and tiny, like two nervous marbles behind his thick glasses.
    “It’s normal to feel overwhelmed.”
    “I’m not overwhelmed.”
    “It’s hard at first. Professors, courses, societies, dances, games of golf, fencing...” Carl’s skin is so pale I can see tiny little veins spidering across his face. “Don’t worry,” he says, “by the end you’ll be just like the rest of these girls.”
    He keeps gesturing pompously with his glass. His beady little eyes move from the little princesses of the party down to my shoes. He’s staring right at my flats.
    “I’m sure by the end you’ll be even better than they are. You have a lot of potential. Dissie. Eurydice. Eurydice, nymph of the forest...”
    “The party’s full of girls, why did you come talk to me?”
    Carl’s tiny eyes flinch behind the lenses.
    “You’re going to blow me off just like that?”
    “Yes,” I answer curtly.
    I’m angrier than I’d like to admit. I know Carl isn’t the only one to blame for this mental storm cloud.
    “Such passion! I said you were different.”
    Axel looks over at me for a second; Carl’s words have gotten his attention.
    “Sorry, Carl,” I try my best to sound agreeable.
    “No big deal,” Carl rests his big hand on my shoulder. “Like I said, it’s just first-year nerves. I’ll give you a hand if you want, soon enough we’ll be eclipsing everyone else. We can start by choosing a society.”
    Now Axel is paying attention to my conversation. His friend is still talking but I know he isn’t listening to him, he’s hanging on my every word. A small triumph for humanity, a great triumph for Eurydice. Thank you, god of the misfits!
    “Is it hard to choose a society?” I ask in a syrupy voice, though I’m not interested in the least. Just for the pleasure of knowing that Axel is listening.
    “This year there were 140, and counting.”
    “Really! So many?”
    “They cover a wide range of interests, so choosing one can be a staggering task.”
    Carl lifts his glass to his lips with a clearly audible slurp, and suddenly my only desire is to get away from this toad in tweed as soon as possible.
    “Whatever, I won’t join any of them.”
    My tone can’t hide the repulsion I’m feeling...