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what I did anyway. So much for the idea that I’m pitying you.”
    The anger clinging thickly to Ryan’s words didn’t have quite the effect on her that she would have thought. For some reason, the memory of their fevered joining chose that moment to bombard her consciousness like rapid-fire bullets—Ryan’s hands moving over her in carnal worship, his mouth closing over the tip of her breast and the answering sharp pain of longing in her womb, the feeling of him filling her until she was inundated by him, ready to burst with her desire.
    By slow degrees she became aware that the blend of voices and clanking cutlery and china had become a distant buzz in her ears. Ryan blinked as if awakening from a trance and sat back in the booth.
    “I am far from thinking that you’re a weak victim.” His gaze flickered up to meet hers. “I like you. I have from the first time Jesse ever read me one of your letters. I liked you even more when I finally met you. I respect the way you’ve built up your business and your life, even though you were a military wife and alone a lot of the time. I admired how you always managed to be so cheerful...convey so much warmth. I used to get resentful when Jesse didn’t return your letters regularly. I used to get resentful toward Jesse for a lot of things,” he mumbled under his breath, looking angry... torn.
    “Can I bring you any dessert?”
    Both of them blinked and stared at the waiter like he was an alien.
    “Faith?” Ryan asked.
    “No, nothing for me,” Faith said.
    Ryan also declined and the waiter left. Faith took a long drink of her ice water.
    “That all still sounds like you’re feeling sorry for me, Ryan,” she said shakily.
    “I don’t pity you, but I do feel bad about some things that have happened,” he said quietly. “I feel like a heel for barging in on you and laying you down on a couch and having unprotected sex with you after I’d been in your house for all of a half hour.”
    Her mouth fell open at his blunt words. Once again the remembered images and sensations swamped her awareness.
    “Let me get this straight,” she said slowly. “You like me, and you respect me, but because you wanted to have sex with me that night, that’s a problem. Is that because you usually don’t like and respect the women you sleep with? Attraction and respect don’t go together in your mind?”
    “That’s a hell of a thing to say.”
    “Jesse used to imply that you liked female companionship, but weren’t much for a serious relationship with one woman.”
    Realization subtly settled on his features. His eyelids narrowed. Faith caught an edge of the diamond-hard focus that had made him such a valuable officer and pilot. “Are you implying I’m like Jesse?”
    She tilted her chin up, refusing to be intimidated. “Maybe.”
    “Well I’m not,” he stated flatly. “I’m not saying Christmas Eve was a mistake because I’m a womanizer. I’m saying it was a mistake because it was so abrupt...strange...irrational...”
    Mind-blowing, Faith added in her private thoughts. His gaze flickered up to meet hers, as if she’d spoken aloud.
    After a tense moment she exhaled and sagged in the seat. “I’m sorry. It’s not my place to judge you one way or another. That part of your life is none of my business.”
    She glanced up in surprise when he reached across the table and grasped her hand.
    “Just because I haven’t found the right woman yet doesn’t mean I haven’t been looking. I don’t thrive on conquest. Christmas Eve was not about that.”
    She couldn’t look away from his eyes. His hand tightened on hers, his fingers brushing her wrist. She wondered distantly if he could feel the throb of her pulse.
    “What was it about then?” she whispered.
    Something flickered across his rugged features she couldn’t quite identify. “I’m not entirely sure. It just felt...unstoppable. Like I said that night, all that emotion must have been building.”
    “You do hear