The Shadow Matrix

Read The Shadow Matrix for Free Online

Book: Read The Shadow Matrix for Free Online
Authors: Marion Zimmer Bradley
weeks of frustration which interfered with the study of her Gift, she hit
    upon the idea of using her precious recording equipment as a means of being present.
    Using the two recorders she possessed, her own and Ivor Davidson's, she began to
    make recordings of all the songs she remembered from her childhood on Thetis, the
    many she had learned or relearned since returning to Darkover, and anything else that
    took her fancy. Just the act of singing made her feel less helpless, less frustrated. She
    was not, she knew, a great singer, just a very thoroughly trained musician. Margaret
    lacked that quality that distinguished the artist from the amateur, but she did not think
    it would matter to her stepmother.
    When she had filled up a disk—about twenty-six hours of singing, with occasional
    stories that seemed to go with the music—she had ventured into the chamber, set up
    Ivor's player, and started it running. Margaret did not give a damn that she was
    violating half a dozen Terran rules about technology restrictions on planets like
    Darkover, or that the equipment actually belonged to the University, and she should
    have returned it. True, she had not informed the music department that she would not
    be returning to University in the foreseeable future, and they likely assumed she was
    diligently continuing the survey of Darkovan music which had brought her to the
    planet five months earlier. She knew that was hairsplitting. She was fairly certain she
    would never leave Darkover, and she was not going to transmit her work to her
    department, to let some other person muck about with it.
    The batteries that ran the device were good for six
    months of continuous use, and she decided that if she had to, she would get her
    mother's brother, Captain Rafe Scott, to find some means to get her more if she needed
    them. He worked at Terran HQ in Thendara, and she was fairly certain he could obtain
    the things even if he could not requisition them. Margaret knew she should be
    disgusted with herself for even thinking such things, but it was for Dio, and that
    seemed more important than anything else.
    So the glittering chamber was filled with song, from dawn till dawn. Margaret did not
    know if it did any good, if Dio could even hear her voice, her song, but it made her feel
    better, knowing that her stepmother was not entirely cut off from human contact.
    Sometimes, after spending the day with Dio, Lew would come to Margaret, looking
    strained but calm. He told her several times that the songs were wonderful, that even if
    it was not helping Dio, it made him feel good to hear her voice. And others, technicians
    and students at Arilinn, who usually held themselves aloof from her, had sought her out
    to say they found themselves listening to the music, stopping in to sit with Diotima's
    comatose body, when they entered the chamber to monitor the woman. It was the
    warmest contact she had with those in the Tower, and the only one free of suspicion or
    resentment.
    She had come expecting to find an environment like that at University, and instead
    discovered that Arilinn was a hotbed of competition. Those with high levels of laran
    tended to lord it over those with less, including Regis' two daughters, who had come to
    begin training at the same time she had. Several of the women had the ambition to
    become Keepers, which was understandable, since there were not many things which
    women could do on Darkover other than marry or become Renunciates, if they wanted
    authority of any sort. A few of the men nourished the same goal, even though male
    Keepers were still a rarity.
    Margaret had been hurt and puzzled by the rather hostile welcome she had received. It
    had taken her quite some time to realize that she had in great measure exactly what
    many of the youngsters yearned for. Margaret knew they would have been shocked to
    discover, and disbelieving if she told them, that she would have cheerfully given them
    the Alton Gift, and what she

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