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essential purpose. And everything should be embraced or rejected according to how it affects our essential purpose. The things that help us become the-best-version-of-ourselves should be embraced and celebrated. Those things that stop us from becoming our best selves should be avoided and rejected. Life is choices. In every moment the only question we need to ask ourselves is, Which of the options before me will help me become the-best-version-of-myself? This one question summarizes a worldview, a philosophy of life, and provides the ultimate decision-making tool.
    In a world where so little makes sense, understanding our essential purpose makes sense of everything. In a world of clutter and confusion, understanding our essential purpose brings a startling clarity to the moments of our everyday lives. In a world filled with experts and their contradictory theories, understanding our essential purpose helps us to listen once again to the quiet voice within.
    Modern popular culture is very skeptical of, even cynical about, the idea that our existence might have some common and universal meaning. The phrase “the meaning of life” has almost become a negative cliché and is used tongue-in-cheek more often than it is to imply serious examination of the purpose of our existence. But without a clear understanding of our essential purpose, our lives become aimless, rootless, and adrift.
    Your essential purpose is to become the-best-version-of-yourself. Plant that one idea at the center of your life. Base every decision upon your essential purpose. Make every choice with your essential purpose in mind. Place this one idea at the center of your inner dialogue and you will very quickly understand why ideas change the world.
    Everything makes sense in relation to our essential purpose, especially relationships.
    W HAT I S THE P URPOSE OF A R ELATIONSHIP ?
     
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elationships only make sense in relation to the overall purpose of your life. If we are unable to establish this essential purpose for our lives, then we will find it very difficult to bring focus to our relationships. But now that we have established our essential purpose, it is much easier to understand the meaning and purpose of our relationships. The purpose of relationships is for you to help others become the-best-version-of-themselves, and for others to help you become the best-version-of-yourself. Every relationship, however formal or casual, long lasting or fleeting, is an opportunity for the people involved to further their essential purpose by becoming the-best-version-of-themselves.
    What makes a good relationship? A good relationship is one where we are challenged and encouraged to become the-best-version-of-ourselves, while we encourage and challenge others to become all they are capable of being. What defines troubled relationships? Troubled relationships are those that lead us away from our essential purpose, those that encourage us to be lesser-versions-of-ourselves.
    The full and dynamic experience of relationship is therefore dependent on a clear understanding of our essential purpose.
    So, where do we start?
    There is a question that you have probably already started grappling with, and whose answer may have set off some alarms for you. That question concerns your primary relationship. It may be with your husband or wife, your girlfriend or boyfriend, your partner, your significant other, your fiancée…but the question remains the same.
    Is your primary relationship helping you to become the-best-version-of-yourself?
    Are you helping the other person to become the-best-version-of-themselves, and are they helping you to become your best self?
    Your first answer may very well be no. And that’s okay; deeper examination will probably reveal that in some ways the relationship is indeed helping us become the-best-version-of-ourselves, but that in some other ways (that are perhaps more glaring) it is, quite simply, not helping us to do so.
    The other very real